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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Practical advice on restraining stalking
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Topic: Practical advice on restraining stalking (Read 479 times)
mod69
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 7
Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
on:
January 01, 2021, 04:15:05 PM »
Can anyone offer advice on restraining stalking and harassment from an ex with BPD. The US probation service had forbidden contact from my stalker but she is now no longer under the jurisdiction of the probation service. I wrote to them & was directed to the District Attorney Office and Victim Services Office. I have no experience dealing with them and wonder what I can say to them and how they might be able to safeguard or support me.
I am new to this forum and currently feel overwhelmed by the stalking from my ex with BPD and often feel hopeless. I think I would feel better able to cope if I had advice and support from people who have more experience of coping with this. At the moment, I feel broken after two years of constant harassment and would desperately like to be able to move beyond this and live a relatively normal life. I would take great comfort from anyone who has been able to do this.
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GaGrl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5734
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #1 on:
January 01, 2021, 05:36:48 PM »
In the Probation Office's directive, what was the wording re: contact, stalking, and harassment? Do you have a copy of that directive? If not, can you get one?
What was she on probation for?
What has she done after probation that would not have been allowed during probation?
I am thinking you could file for a restraining order and provide the probation directive, asking that it simply be continued as an RO , since she has not changed her behavior.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
mod69
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 7
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #2 on:
January 01, 2021, 07:25:04 PM »
Thank you GaGrl, I have a copy of the document which lists the special terms regarding probation ticking "Contact" and specifying "annoy, harass, molest, strike, harm, phone, stalk, assault, disturb the peace of" or "be within 100 yards of the residence/ employment". My name is added to that of a person who received a hoax bomb threat from my BPD-ex.
Since then I've received direct contact but mostly online and email harassment, including clear racist abuse, through fake accounts that are obviously from her. I have little experience of BPD but suspect that her actions are more extreme than some cases I've read about on here. It would be helpful if these now out-of-date restrictions could be revived for a new restraining order.
Thank you so much for replying. The solidarity of this forum is very helpful
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GaGrl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5734
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #3 on:
January 01, 2021, 09:58:40 PM »
The probation document is very clear. It might be worth consulting a lawyer to help you file for an RO, but that isn't required. It sounds as if you have a strong precedent.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
cash05458
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: living together/possibly breaking up
Posts: 249
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #4 on:
January 02, 2021, 02:29:55 PM »
I believe in almost every state, a restraining order does have something in there about contact of ANY form...and that includes emails, phone calls, texts or say leaving a comment on their social media page for instance...they are pretty clear and strict as to what constitutes contact.
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mod69
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 7
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #5 on:
January 22, 2021, 04:25:52 PM »
Does anyone have any advice regarding my BPD stalker's remand hearing next week. I have been invited by the DA's office to testify but am balancing gaining relief from the harassment and online abuse with inflaming her condition. Also, I'm not familiar with remand hearings; will I be asked questions by a judge or cross-examined by a (hostile) lawyer?
If anyone has experience of a situation like this or advice based upon knowledge of BPD stalking, it would help me prepare for the hearing. Thank you.
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siochain
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 82
Re: Practical advice on restraining stalking
«
Reply #6 on:
January 27, 2021, 05:29:59 PM »
Did you have the hearing yet, Mod69?
If so, how did it go?
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