son with BPD (suicidal, depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd)

[losttrust]

spent a year to identify what my son did not have to only spend thousands of dollars on medicines and treatments that did nothing for him but make him less trusting of those in the profession and me for encouraging him to take meds with horrid side effect and tms which made him feel like a freak for shock treatments that did zero but hurt.   after reading stop walking on egg shells it was a shock that not one of the 4 "professionals" said once- perhaps he had BPD when clearly he matches the criteria.  high need for reassurance and attention, seeks validation and triggered by rejection and if feels disrespected, can go from calm to rage in minutes, irrational view of reality, feels unheard and not understood.   As a parent i'm having a terrible time finding a good therapist.  He would do better with a male 30-45 years old that has the time to meet initially daily or every other day initially - any suggestions or recommendations? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Resiliant]

Hi Losttrust,

I'm so sorry for the late response.  I actually tried getting back to you twice, but interruptions ended it.  Life is too busy sometimes!

Anyways, I just wanted to say that you are SO right!  Wouldn't it be great if - as you say 

He would do better with a male 30-45 years old that has the time to meet initially daily or every other day initially 

   If only that kind of help was available.  The only way I see that happening is with residential treatment.

I have often thought the same for my son, wishing that he had a positive male influence in his life.  Some kind of a mentor, if you will.   When he was young I wished that I could put him in the "Big Brothers" program.  I didn't sign him up because he had a father, and there was such a demand for kids without fathers.   I am not angry with his father, he was older and just didn't have it in him to be what his son needed. Then, when I remarried my son's stepfather was emotionally disconnected as well.   There is more to those stories and I won't bore you with them right now.

This is a long and difficult journey.  The best we can do is to accept reality and not expect any changes to happen quickly.   We try our best, but as parents we cannot offer the same insight and value that therapists can offer.

Wouldn't it be great if there was some kind of program for those suffering with mental issues?  I know that my parent's church group takes care of each other that way and other church groups do also.   Other that that what can we do?

My son is not on meds and I don't promote it for him.  He did have an EFT treatment when he was young and it did actually help.  I believe he was around 13 or 14 at the time.

Sorry I don't have an easy answer for you.  I just wanted to relate and let you know you are not walking this road alone...

hugs

R