New to BPDfamily

[runnermom31]

My 19 year old daughter was just officially diagnosed with BPD, but it is something I have long suspected.  She is about to leave in 18 days for basic training and we are trying to figure things out.  She has been working with a therapist and psychiatrist for a few years and is open to treatment but not to putting off joining the army until she gets her meds, etc stabilized.  We are very concerned about the likelihood that without managing her mental health issues first she will sabotage her military career. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome Runnermom,
We are very afraid for our adult BPD making the wrong choices that could change their life trajectory.  It is terrifying, actually, as we have loved them and tried to protect them growing up as all parents do.  The good news here is that your daughter is open to treatment.  Hold on to that.  You had mentioned "we are trying to figure things out".   My suggestion is you transitioning over to " she is figuring things out"  with you stepping into the background.  As painful as this is, it is that time. Here is some suggested reading to browse through and consider:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=332045.0
 You can offer advice ( If asked), but accept the fact the final decisions are hers to make  as an adult .   This is gut wrenching, I know.  Please write back , we are with you in this journey and you are not alone.