First time asking for help

[Lu88]

In all honestly I don't know where to start.  Although my partner has not been formally diagnosed, it's clear to me he has BPD and in fact he believes he does too.
I'm struggling with everything and am reaching out to find someone to connect with, someone who knows where i'm coming from instead of telling me to run away from him

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hi Lu88, welcome to the group 

Really glad you've reached out for help. It's fine to not know where to start... totally normal.

I hear you that you're not looking for a "black and white thinking" message of "you either stay or run". This is a good place to learn and try some new, often non-intuitive skills and tools to change your relationship dynamics. While it might not be easy, there are members here who can attest to the fact that when they make changes in themselves, things can "stop getting worse" and sometimes reach a new kind of "better".

No matter what you decide about your relationship at any time, the choice is yours. There will be people here to walk along with you on your personal journey, whatever you choose.

When you feel up for it, do share a little more with us (whatever you're comfortable with, of course) -- how long have you two been together? Any kids involved? Were things "good" in the beginning and then "got worse", or has it always kind of been like this? And, what would you say the key struggle/conflict is in your relationship?

This is a great place to talk through how things have gone before, get some feedback and ideas, and see if trying something new makes a difference for you.

Here for you;

kells76