Looking for someone who understands

[bonnibee]

Hi. I just googled BPD parent support groups and this one came highly recommended. Nobody in my entire life (family, friends... literally nobody) understands what it is like to live with a loved one with BPD so I am just looking for support. It's my adult daughter who is 23 years old and I just don't know how to help her. I am simply exhausted.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[KBug]

Welcome to the group.  I'm glad that you are seeking out a support system of people who have similar experiences with loved ones. Reading through the posts may help you to feel less alone and help you to understand how BPD can affect families and people with the disorder. BPD can be difficult for everyone it touches. Trust me, people here won't be shocked by what you say or what's happening in your life.  It's a safe space to share.

You need to start by taking care of yourself first.  A good therapist who understands BPD can be tremendously helpful. Learn to set boundaries to protect yourself and your loved one.  There are several books that can help you understand BPD better: Stop Walking on Eggshells by Mason and Kreger is a good beginning.  There are additional book recommendations throughout the posts in this group.   

I'm not sure what kind of help that you are seeking.  You might want to provide more information and ask some specific questions that people can answer. You might be feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.  There's not a right or wrong place to begin in understanding, so you can just talk about what's on your mind today.

[BonnieW]

I have to agree with KBug because I've found so much useful information in reading the posts and the support articles that are found on this site.

It's a relief to know that my circumstances are not unique and this knowledge helps me to manage my emotions and reactions.  The articles have helped me to learn the best way to speak with and react to my BPD daughter.

My therapist suggested that I write a letter to my BPD daughter with or without the intent to send it.  This type of journaling can be helpful to some people.

You are not alone.

Best of luck to you

Bonnie