Not coping

[Anonymum]

Apologies if this is a subject already discussed.
As a mum of a daughter with BPD who has been with MH services for 6 years, I'd like to know if it's possible to.suffer from PTSD relating to their self-harm and other incidents? I am in constant fear of returning to an episode of weeks of self-harm last year and feel like I'm unravelling so much so that my ability to support her has diminished. She still lives at home with me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hi Anonymum:
I'm so sorry you are having a tough time.  It's understandable, in view of what you are dealing with.

You have to make some time to take care of yourself.  You mentioned in one of your other posts that you have had some counseling in the past.  Did you find it helpful & perhaps something you might be able to continue with?

Are there some things you like to do to destress?  Maybe get some exercise, meditate, read a book? Do you have any hobbies or are you perhaps interested in starting one?

I'd say that PTSD for you is possible.  It's important to take care of yourself, or you won't be capable of dealing with your daughter.   How frequent and serious are her episodes of self-harm? 

[endofmyropemom]

Hi Anonymum.  To answer your question of whether you may be now suffering from PTSD after experiencing their self harm and other destructive behaviors is YES!

My son cut open an artery in his arm right in front of me and luckily I got help to him fast enough to save his life.  But I never forgot the incident and clean up that seemed to be never ending.  I was a wreck after that and every incident after that just made me sicker and sicker inside.  Coupled with the death of my mother and estrangement from a BPD sister, I lost it and had to get help.

This time I found a therapist that specialized in PTSD and trauma.  I think finding one that specializes in that is super important.  We all have been through hell imho. 

My therapist has been a life saver.  She is the first person that ever talked to me about self care and compassion.  She also was able to explain BPD to me in a way that made sense.

I did have a lot of generalized trauma in my life because of the family I was raised with, but my son's actions were something I could not process on my own. I still struggle, but the PTSD part of it is manageable.

Good luck to you. 

[Anonymum]

Thank you NN I will consider going back to my fav counsellor however after years of working for the county she is now private. Finances not great.   
End Rope, what you say is strangely comforting as I don't now feel ridiculous and lost thinking it. I am sorry that you have had such trauma. I was told by CAMHS that intervening when my d is cutting would cause more serious consequences, and I understand why they must do it but jeez it's hard. My d has made me leave the room before with us both knowing it was going to happen. She always tells me of everything straight after too. I managed to cope for the last 5 years with it but I think 1st lockdown broke me. TBH I was speaking to someone from MH team yesterday explaining how near the edge I am, (I've also had other traumatic events in life). Her reply had no real empathy in it. It's a good job it was a phone conversation because I may have bopped her on the nose, and at 50 years old, I've never done that.
I hope you carry on getting some positive support.x