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Author Topic: A New Me, so proud of me!  (Read 98 times)
izzitme
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 60


« on: March 02, 2021, 10:33:34 AM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

Since putting self-compassion into practice, I have seen my sense of self-worth explode. Wanting to set boundaries for myself because I respect myself has been a natural progression.  The ten year dynamic with my unHusband has been him treating me like I am not an equal, me reacting and then me having to grovel because he saw me as "the devil". I am no longer putting up with his angry energy toward me. Last night, I did it imperfectly as any newbie to a new skill does, but I am so proud of myself. We were trying to decide if we were going food shopping. I have a chronic illness, so taking inventory of my energy supplies to do this simple task is necessary. I am having surgery Friday which will require a month long recovery and I am quite nervous about triggering a Lupus flare. I was being really indecisive with my husband about going shopping and he finally got so frustrated with me that he threw down the remote and yelled at me. The old me would grovel and would have just went shopping with him to appease him, but I stood up to this aggressive action. I said some choice words, like I said I am learning a new skill, and removed myself from him for the rest of the night, telling him I would be expecting an apology for this aggressive action. He wants to talk about my bad behavior with being indecisive but I said buy in for a conversation is an apology for the remote throwing. He is gaslighting me and saying that never happened, so I ended the conversation. I told him there will be no character attacks against me, victimhood or blaming me because nothing I did warrants a violent act. I am holding my ground with this. Not because I expect him to change but because I have changed and have a newfound love and respect for myself. I have spent years gladly wearing the weight of being "the bad one" in this relationship when I fought back against controlling and unequal behavior. It feels incredible to have my own back and I am prepared to see it through, even it means having surgery and recovery without him. I will not be groveling. We can talk about my imperfect reaction with an abundance of self-compassion and wanting to better the relationship, but only after I get an apology. Just thought I would share this momentous, huge step with you!  Way to go! (click to insert in post)
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rum2020

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 21


« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2021, 01:22:04 PM »

Go you!!!
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ThanksForPlaying
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Posts: 93


« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2021, 11:53:50 PM »

Yes!
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khibomsis
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Grieving
Posts: 529


« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2021, 12:47:55 AM »

well done ! Way to go! (click to insert in post)
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