Hey All!
I refuse to do that this time, AND he won't listen to my side ever and bullies me into admitting I am "the bad one and the abusive one". I cannot do this anymore. I cannot allow attacks on my character. I am going to another city on Friday and having major surgery and I don't want to go with this hanging between us AND there is no end other than him attacking me and me taking all the blame. Maybe I can reaffirm that I love him and am committed to our relationship but I want better for us than the dynamic we have been in? AND that just opens the door for him to blame the whole dynamic on me. Ugh, help!
Hi there Izzit... boy does your story sound like mine.
Here's a little insight from my experience. If you are going to effect any kind of change (notice the difference between "effect" and "make"?) then you are going to need to dig in, stay calm, and not J.A.D. E.
Here's another little insight for you to have some fun with. That's a really powerful paragraph that you wrote - and see how I changed the "but" for "and" in each sentence. What do you notice when you read the sentences now?
In the meantime, hang in there. This can be really tough. pwBPD are notorious for not apologizing unless they have regrets, which becomes a vicious cycle - just like you state - because the only way a pwBPD can truly protect their inner child is to be constantly on the offensive.
Hoping your surgery goes well.
Hope this makes sense.
Rev