How would you feel or react to this?

[ConfusedSoul24]

How would you feel/react if you had an unexpected pregnancy 5 years into a relationship then upon announcing it to your boyfriend, who has anxiety issues, he has a panic attack about finances and figuring everything out during it considering you both were unemployed, living at your seperate parents? He shares he doesnt know if he is ready to be a father but he will do whatever he can to make it work.

Then once he calmed down, he wrote you a letter apologizing about the panic attack and explains his panic, then wants to support you and figure everything out.

How would you react/feel about him panicking to this situation?

Would you feel like he does not love you or does not want to be with you?

[once removed]

Would you feel like he does not love you or does not want to be with you?

maybe.

thats not to say it would be the proper conclusion, or even a reasonable one.

feelings are kind of a selfish, or self centered sort of thing. they dont always make room for reason. they dont always put themselves in the other persons shoes. they are often about self preservation.

assuming your post is a description of what occurred in your relationship, since my own feelings are not a part of it, its easy for me to see things from your perspective, and from hers. its much more challenging when youre in a 5 year relationship. when youre accidentally pregnant.

and its all the more challenging where bpd is involved. there is an inherent distrust of others. there is an inherent fear of abandonment. there is an inherent expectation of unconditional support, a resentment when it cant be met, and self loathing on some level for the unrealistic expectation that it could.