So this was me, back in September:
My dHwBPD has had a telephone consultation for therapy this week. He has been on anti depressants for the last 6 wks and has been much calmer, but i know his issues are not even started to be resolved.
My question is how can therapy help him, if what he believes to be true may not be?
I see BPD traits in his father and his brothers. So suspect that this is something he has grown up with. He told me this morning that the therapist asked him if he’d hone through anything traumatic previously. He replied that his first marriage was traumatic (oh how i wish i could speak to his first wife) apparently she in a moment of anger she held a knife at him.
Now as someone who has been on the receiving end of his BPD i can see how she got to this level of anger. But he only see’s the knife incident and not what came before.
Can therapy make a difference?
I've pretty much been missing in action since then, Hubbie has been on anti depressants, which has calmed his tempers and stopped major arguments as his mood has obviously been regulated a little. He has one more session of therapy this week, then that ends. They've gone through history etc, suggested reasons to him for why he may feel the way he does. They have made suggestions that when I notice his mood changing that I point out to him using a keyword, so it activates a calmer response in him. Which works sometimes, but again puts the responsibility on me. He blames me for not pointing it out, if we end up arguing.
I've tried to be kind but honest about his progress with him, I think being anything but honest at this point is just going to take us back to where we were, me pretending is ok to act the way he did.
He now calmly puts me down, rather than shouts it at me, and then when it makes me cross, he tells me I'm effecting his progress and knowing him back months!
His doctor has prescribed 2 more months of medication and is then considering weaning him off. Hubbie thinks this is wonderful, he said it was like a prize? he said he thinks he'll be fine without them.
He did ask me if I was worried about him coming off them and I told him I was, that I felt therapy hadn't;'t given him what he needed to cope with the thoughts without medication.
I feel like the last few months have given me a chance to let my guard down a little, and I am really scared that If things aren't calm when he finished medication and therapy that I'm going to be back at square one and not emotionally equipped to cope.
Has anyone else been through this, felt like this, had a good outcome?
