How do I break it off?

[CodependentCalli]

 

My partner is diagnosed bpd. I love her and will always love her but her symptoms and behaviors (especially the anger) are not healthy and I don't want my children (not hers) growing up around that.

I have broken up with her twice now but keep get sucked back in with promises of change. The first 5 months go great and she follows through but then the cracks start showing and her angry behaviors return.

I dont know how to break it off for real now.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey CC,   A BPD r/s has cycles of ups and downs, as you describe.  The highs are exhilarating, while the lows are a nightmare.  The only question is whether you are ready to get off the roller coaster, which is a determination only you can make.  Most of us, including me, have been through numerous recycles before reaching a turning point.  It's highly unlikely that she will leave you, due to her fear of abandonment, which means that you are the one driving the car, so-to-speak.  You call the shots.  Breaking up is a painful process, yet it leads to greater happiness, in my experience.  What is the right path for you?

LuckyJim

[Rev]

My partner is diagnosed bpd. I love her and will always love her but her symptoms and behaviors (especially the anger) are not healthy and I don't want my children (not hers) growing up around that.

I have broken up with her twice now but keep get sucked back in with promises of change. The first 5 months go great and she follows through but then the cracks start showing and her angry behaviors return.

I dont know how to break it off for real now.

Hey there Co-dependent.

Welcome to our community. Lot's of great people here and lot's experience. No judgement either.

I second Lucky Jim.  Each path is different.

I'd like to add this thought. Can you say more about where your stumbling blocks are that get in your way - one way or another?  That might shed some light on the answer to your question - how to break it off.

Hang in there.

Rev