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Author Topic: Almost a year out  (Read 399 times)
brighter future
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« on: March 29, 2021, 09:46:17 PM »

I'm just making a post here to get a few things off my chest. It was a year ago today that my ex-g/f and I had our last official date as a couple after a nearly two year relationship. I was reminded of this on social media first thing this morning with a post and photos from the date.  A year ago on 4/2 is when I was given the "get married or I'm out" ultimatum. I was blindsided by that.  The two weeks following that was back and forth conversation between her and I about what we were feeling and how we could work things out. By 4/17 and 4/18 she was rebounding with a guy she had a fling with before me and after leaving her ex-husband. She rubbed that in my face over a text message.  I cut ties with her roughly two weeks or so after that and quit contacting her, but I started hearing from her about 4.5 months later. 

After a year, I feel like an incredible weight has been lifted off of me. I will admit to being very lonely sometimes, though.  Dealing with her mental health issues (and terrible financial issues) and the emotional issues of her two children were very taxing on me. However, I can honestly say without a doubt that I did love all three of them dearly. Sadly, nothing has really changed in their lives, and things got so bad her young son asked to leave her home and go live with his dad. This happened nearly a month ago. I'm no longer having the blood pressure issues that I did when she and I were together, I'm sleeping better, and I'm not having the terrible headaches that I used to most likely caused from constant stress and worrying about her and how to make her happy and feel better emotionally. I've learned that's impossible and that I cannot be emotionally responsible for another adult. My counselor has stepped me down to one session every 2-3 weeks. She says I'm doing well and that I am so much more self-aware compared to what I was when I walked through her door back in May. We're still trying to address my mild PTSD from this most recent relationship with my ex-g/f who is uBPD and the 6 year divorce/custody battle that I had with my ex-wife who was clinically diagnosed with BPD. I now know what draws these people to me and why I stay in co-dependent relationships. I've made a vow to myself to never repeat this again.

I've seen a handful of posts recently that other people have made wondering if they were really loved by their ex-pwBPD. I wonder that from time to time, but after a year, I try not to let things like that consume me like they used to. I always tell myself not to let her have that power over me.

As some of you already know, my ex's parents live next door to me. I had an encounter with my ex last Friday early in the evening. Prior to this, there's been some text messages from her, some social media pings through mutual friends pages,  and one 5 minute in person visit. We've seen each other in passing several times, and we've  usually waved to be cordial. I am not interested in any other contact with her beyond that.  Last Friday evening, I was working out in my yard like I always do every Friday or Saturday. I had the leaf blower going blowing grass clippings off of my driveway. I was facing her parents home while I was doing that and saw her pull up in front of their house and park on the street. She got out of the car with her son and walked up the sidewalk to their home 30 feet from me and deliberately looked the other way. I was going to wave if she looked in my direction. I said oh well under my breath and finished what I was doing then moved on to trimming a hedgerow like I had planned. While I was doing that I heard her come back out of her parent's home and get in her car. When she visits her parents and parks in the road, she always drives past my house and goes around the loop to get out of the neighborhood and back to the main road. Instead of doing this, she put her car into reverse and began backing down the road so she didn't have to drive past me working in my front yard. She backed into the other neighbor's driveway across the street to turn around and go the other way just so she didn't have to drive by me. I thought how odd and shook my head. Months ago, I would have looked at what she did as some sort of reflection on me, but not this time. Yeah, I do sort of wonder about her actions and can assume that it must involve some type of internal conflict that she has in regards to me and our past relationship. That's all on her though. This whole thing would be so much easier if her parents didn't live next door to me, but that's something that I'm working on living with and have made a lot of progress in. It's not about her parents, though, as they still treat me very well. What happened was between her and I.

To sum it up, I've come a long way since all of this mess started last April. There's still a little ways to go, but at least I'm chatting with the opposite sex again. Maybe I'll have a date night one of these days in the near future. We'll see.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Best wishes to all of you, and thank you for all of your help over the last 10 months that I've been here.



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« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2021, 12:54:00 AM »

it gets better. it sounds like youre finding that.
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
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« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2021, 10:08:49 AM »

it gets better. it sounds like youre finding that.

I think so, once removed. It's strange to think back a year ago at this time. The discard took place, and I was scrambling to do whatever it took to try and get her back and at the same time trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I honestly wouldn't go back and change a thing about the way I treated her and respected her, as I felt I honestly gave her all I had. What I would go back and change (if I could) is this: I would have told her 5 months before the breakup (when she started pressuring for engagement) that marriage wasn't an option for us until the emotional baggage was sorted out. In my heart, I knew that's what was best at the time, however, I did no set appropriate boundaries and speak up.  I just assumed that she would get help since she kept telling me that she needed it. However, she never got it, and the rest is history.

I saw her again this past Friday just like I did the previous Friday. I'd been out working in the yard late in the afternoon, and she showed up at her folk's house again. This time I was sitting on my front porch having a drink when she pulled up out in the street. I wasn't out working in the front yard by the street this time. When she came out to leave 25 minutes later, she got in her car and drove past my house since I wasn't out in the front yard. Last week, she backed down the street then turned around and went the other direction just so she didn't have to drive by me. So, she must have some type of internal conflict in regards to me. As I said, I'm not internalizing this as some sort of reflection on me. It's all on her. Some mutual friends told me that she was raging on her Facebook page about her ex-husband the other day about how terribly he treated her during their marriage. According to them, the rant included multiple paragraphs.  They said at the end of her rant, she mentioned how "happy and safe" she was today 3 years after separating from him. That makes no sense to me because if your so happy today like you say you are, then why are you on social media raging about your ex-husband? Get over it and move on for goodness sakes.  She did the same exact thing to her ex on social media a couple of days after she discarded me last April. Maybe this is going to become a yearly tradition for her every April. Trash the ex-husband on social media and play stupid mind games with me when she  drops by to visit her folks.  Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)

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« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2021, 11:38:07 AM »

BF,
I’m glad to hear that you are in a better place! It gives us detachers hope. Thanks!

Go for that date!

B53
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« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2021, 09:08:27 PM »

way to go Brighter...you are getting there...nice post!
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« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2021, 09:19:43 PM »

I honestly wouldn't go back and change a thing about the way I treated her and respected her, as I felt I honestly gave her all I had.

this will matter to you even way down the road. long past the pain, we can always look back and feel good about the right ways we handled the relationship ending.

What I would go back and change (if I could) is this: I would have told her 5 months before the breakup (when she started pressuring for engagement) that marriage wasn't an option for us until the emotional baggage was sorted out.

and this is a lesson youll take into the next relationship.

romantic love is a promise that is sadly, typically kept once, if that. someone or someones always get hurt. we do the best we can; we try to do even better next time.

Excerpt
So, she must have some type of internal conflict in regards to me.
...
That makes no sense to me because if your so happy today like you say you are, then why are you on social media raging about your ex-husband? Get over it and move on for goodness sakes. 

some people never fully detach from the wounds.
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« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2021, 01:57:57 PM »

Thanks a lot for your comments and support, everyone. I'm not sitting around obsessing about the past, but certain memories have come back to me (over the last week) from the period of time shortly before the discard, the discard itself (and the two week time period after it), and when she went out on the date with the rebound and rubbed my face in it. Her choice of words when she told me about her date almost sounded like she enjoyed telling me that. Then she proceeded to tell me that we should be friends and keep in touch, which is what she has done with a lot of the men she's been with including her current rebound guy. I did not oblige.

Another red flag from early on in our relationship was when she told me that she "always had a rebound to fall back on while in school and college (before she was married)" so she "didn't have to be alone." She also told me during the same time period that 7 out of the 9 years she was married were miserable and told me that she "had plenty of opportunities and offers" to cheat on her ex-husband but never took advantage of it. I look back on all of this now and say to myself, why in the hell did I think this was Ok, and why did I think it would be any different with me than anyone else she was with? A mutual friend of mine and my ex knows her ex-husband well. He caught wind of what happened between her and I. I was told his reaction to the whole thing was "She treated him exactly the same way she treated me." Like our mutual friend said "She's like a wrecking ball, a total train wreck. I never know how she's going to treat me either when we talk or see each other. She's either super friendly, raging at me and mad, or won't speak to me at all when I call or text."

How all of this ended between her and I was very hurtful for me when it all went down and for several months afterwards. However, I am thankful for one thing from her. She did not demonize me to her family even though she talked down to me and made me feel like dirt at the discard. Her parents, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws all keep in touch with me and treat me very well. I think deep down they really know of her issues, but she's still their family. I fully understand that. As I said in one of my earlier posts, she wrote a several paragraph rant on how her ex-husband "abused" her for all of her 400+ friends on social media to see. Once again, I'm just thankful that I've not been the subject of one of those rants.

It would have been so much harder to make it through this ordeal without all of you, my T, and my family. All of you and my T showed me that NC was the way to go even though it was so hard to do in the very beginning.

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« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2021, 03:33:02 PM »

Brighter...let the memories flow...they are just memories and ok...it's going to happen and we are built that way...they will pass...memory is memory and not to be taken too seriously...and of course those things bring up emotions felt back then...like a replay...but override them and let them play out...I call it bracketing...see them as temporary...as they will be so...

Will say this tho...no reason to feel thankful for her acting decently about slime-ing you via her family...I mean, this is simply feeling thankful in one area that most naturally do...it's an outlier via all about her...great, for once and in one area she didn't do something terrible...but in normal life, this is nothing we should be thankful for...rather, it's simply a given and expectation...but I know what you mean...
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« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2021, 11:06:53 AM »

Hello everyone. I hope that all of you are doing well. I wanted to give an update on myself, as it's been a few weeks since I've posted. Typically, I check the forum about every day but generally give myself a break on the weekends.

I've been doing fairly well for the last few weeks. During my relationship with my uBPD ex-g/f, I got way behind on many household improvement projects as I devoted so much time to her and our relationship. You could say that I'm about 3 years behind on many of my projects due to the nearly 2 year relationship with her and the year that I spent trying to recover from the relationship. I've found that working on these home improvement projects not only occupies my mind in a healthy way, it also is helping improve my self confidence and the pride that I have for my home. Seeing things improve around the house I've has been very good for my mood.  I've always taken pride in my home, but it became less of a priority while I was with her. You could also say taking care of myself also became less of a priority during that time period as well.

My child had been asking me to buy her a dog to have as a companion for the last 4 years. I finally caved in almost two months ago and bought a dog for the both of us. It's been a lot of work training the dog, but it has been a blessing for my child and I. Also, last week I purchased a top quality zero turn riding mower to maintain my lawn. I've wanted one for at least 4 years now, so I pulled the trigger and bought one.  Since a good looking lawn is a priority to me, I figured investing in quality equipment that I can rely on for many years would be a good idea. I had the means to do it, so I decided to proceed with the purchase.

I'm still doing the online dating app, but really don't have much new to report as far as that goes. I figure if I'm meant to meet someone nice (and healthy) on there, that's great. If not, that's Ok as well.

Since my last post a few weeks ago, I've had at least 3 more encounters with my ex while she has been visiting next door with her parents. She's still playing the "ignore, make no eye contact with him or wave him game". This has been going on for about the last 2 months now (I'm at the point now to where I don't really care but was at least curious about the change in her behavior), and she has also stopped pinging me through friend's social media pages.  Previously we've made it a point to at least wave to be cordial, especially if the kids are around. I bought some things from a mutual friend's child that is doing a school fundraiser. They contacted me yesterday to tell me that those items are in and that they would be delivering them this weekend. The friend mentioned my ex and her children a little. I briefly told them about her odd behavior (we'd talked about it a month or so ago) of ignoring me, etc. She told me that my ex and her new man are talking about getting engaged/married and said that her mental state can still be described as very unhealthy. We agreed that since they are now talking engagement/marriage, that's probably the reason she's been ignoring me for the past couple of months. I look at that as a good thing for me, and I assume that in her BPD mind I'm no longer needed at this time. Our friend said my ex was describing how in love she was and stated that it reminded her of the same stuff she was saying to her 14 months ago when my ex was telling her about the pending engagement to me. The friend noted that my ex has done nothing to fix what's wrong with her and that she's just repeating the same mistakes and unhealthy behaviors over and over again. We agreed that my ex is in the mindset that marrying this guy is finally going to be event in her life that fixes her for good. She did the same with me and with her ex-husband before, along with countless other men that she was in short relationships with. Rinse and repeat. Before we hung up, she stated that my ex's adolescent child is still a mess emotionally and is now having gender identity issues. That child has had a rough go of it virtually her entire life, and I feel so sorry for her. I logged onto social media a few days ago and saw some photos that my ex's mother had posted of her daughter at a local park. Something caught my eye about my ex's daughter and what she was wearing in one of the photos. Come to find out, her daughter was wearing one of my old t-shirts that I'd left at my ex's home by mistake one day. I just found it interesting that she was wearing that. Her son that is 5 years younger than her daughter moved out of the house about 2 months ago and is now living with his dad. They say he's doing very well, so at least positive things are happening for one of the children. Hopefully her daughter will find peace and happiness one day.

Thanks once again, everyone, for listening and also for your support.

Best wishes to all of you!



« Last Edit: April 28, 2021, 11:14:42 AM by brighter future » Logged
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« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2021, 01:57:15 PM »

well done, it takes time and these new interactions can be triggering and get the mind all worked up again, but hopefully (and I believe it will) this will dampen itself down to a long with the interest.

it was 3 years for me and there was no ties that I had to stay in contact just a girlfriend, this was still difficult and I lived far enough away so that she could also be "out of sight" and could start to forget. like i said, still dificcult and reading other members experiences helped me recognise how difficult it is.

weird and unexplained behaviour can drag curious minds in. add having a prior or latent attraction, it keeps the magnet fired up. this was part of my own path to freedom and detachment, to really truly start to lose any interest. ie. "her behaviour on facebook is so weird" converts to "ok, but so what"

full stop.

but it is a journey, it took awhile. and our unique mileage varies. Sometimes I read in a different position some new members and reflect, you hear a whole page of description of odd behaviour and then it ends. im at a loss to what to say, "yea, so what? whats the point"? what relevance does it have to your life?

maybe this is becoming more reflective, I think so. but it takes time to plough through the anxieties and other factors that promote this acute fascination in the subject  or "the ex" to provide some me-time to even start to reflect on "why am I actually thinking these things"

good to hear from you as always Brighter and you strengthening yourself through this. best wishes to you too.
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« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2021, 12:51:54 AM »

Glad your world has stabilized brighter.
  We all know it takes a long long time to start regaining a bit of composure when the tornado moves on. 
  I’ haven’t seen her screaming face in a year almost. 
And only two brief phone calls. 
   Actually may reach a divorce settlement, I just held to the true number and here we are. . 
I’m numb when I think of her.
My thoughts don’t race of what she probably is doing, or who. 
At this point it really is no longer my affair.
  And that’s progress. 

 
 
   
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« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2021, 11:58:56 AM »

Thanks for your replies, Goosey and Cromwell. Sorry it took so long for me to respond to you all. Cromwell, as always, your post contained a lot of great insight. Thank you. Goosey, I hope you and your ex can reach a divorce settlement soon. I know how these things can drag out. The divorce proceedings with my ex-wife (before my recent ex-girlfriend) lasted nearly a year and a half. Her attorney kept stalling the proceedings to due my ex-wife's poor mental health and out of state hospitalizations. It was a total fiasco, and thankfully the judge put a stop to all of their stalling and finally forced a trial date to finalize things.

Due to my ex-g/f's recent behavior of ignoring me for the last two months while visiting her folks next door to me, I was beginning to think that maybe she was going into NC mode like I'd been for nearly the last year (third week of May 2020). I had a conversation with my mother recently about my ex ignoring me. Mom said, "Well, maybe she's finally let it go. Hopefully she won't come over to the house again or contact you an further."  All contact between my ex and I since last September was initiated by her. After work late last Friday afternoon, I was outside doing work in my yard and to my storage shed. I had my 3.5 month old puppy outside with me while I was working. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her car pull up out in front of her parent's house. Her son got out of the car. He saw me outside and started heading my way. Believe it or not, my ex followed her son into my yard and over to where I was standing. Her son began talking to me like he usually does and was playing with my dog. My ex stood there and began petting the dog and was telling how cute the dog was, etc. (she had never seen her before). She then said, "I just came from a client's house that has dogs, so she probably smells them on my clothes." Virtually whole time she's talking to me about the dog, she's "nervous laughing" and never makes eye contact with me. She either looks at the dog or the ground. I kept what I said in return to her on topic and related to the dog and nothing else. After about 5 minutes, she said to her son "We'd better get you inside so you can use the bathroom." They said goodbye and went in the house next door. After they walked away, I thought to myself how weird was that! After nearly 2-1/2 months of ignoring me and looking the other way, she walks over here out of the blue and is standing right in front of me. The last time she did that, it was nearly 6 months to the day (11/8/20 and 5/7/21).

During that time period last year where there was in person contact (October & November), she relaxed her social media settings so I could see everything she posted. I got curious on Friday night, so I took a quick look at her social media page. Sure enough, she relaxed her settings again like she did last Fall, and I can see everything she's posting again. She and her children were next door again yesterday for Mother's Day. Her son and his cousins came over to see if my daughter was home so they could visit with her. She wasn't due to the fact that she was visiting with her mother for Mother's Day. I sat outside and talked with the kids for a few minutes on my front porch. They were telling me about school, etc., and my ex's son was telling me that he loved his new school and was now living primarily with his father. He said that he loved it and was very happy.   Just before they started to leave, I noticed my ex-g/f standing in my side yard looking over towards my porch. I assumed she noticed that the kids were over talking to me. As they walked off the porch, I said goodbye and went back inside the house. A short while later, her man showed up at her parent's house apparently to join in the Mother's Day festivities. All of her contact with me over the last 8 months (either in person, text, or social media) has always come when he is not physically present or he is at work. She was apparently doing similar things with him and other guys when she was with me. Either he's completely oblivious, or he doesn't care.

Once again, I'm happy to say that this contact really didn't bother me, but it does make me wonder some about the "weird and unexplained behavior" as Cromwell said. Wonder how long it will be before she pops over again for another face to face visit?  Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)



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« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2021, 01:43:25 PM »

I'm just making a post here to get a few things off my chest. It was a year ago today that my ex-g/f and I had our last official date as a couple after a nearly two year relationship. I was reminded of this on social media first thing this morning with a post and photos from the date.  A year ago on 4/2 is when I was given the "get married or I'm out" ultimatum. I was blindsided by that.  The two weeks following that was back and forth conversation between her and I about what we were feeling and how we could work things out. By 4/17 and 4/18 she was rebounding with a guy she had a fling with before me and after leaving her ex-husband. She rubbed that in my face over a text message.

I can relate pretty heavily to this; my break up date was recently as well, though it was been a bit longer. I remember my ex making her social media public just to mess with my head after the break-up... I know how hard that can be to deal with, I can't imagine having her flaunt the new relationship in your face. That is just plain cruel and evidence that you deserve far better. Also, the attempt to make things work hits home as well. Not much you can really do when the issues presented have nothing to do with you and you cannot fix them.


Excerpt
I've seen a handful of posts recently that other people have made wondering if they were really loved by their ex-pwBPD. I wonder that from time to time, but after a year, I try not to let things like that consume me like they used to. I always tell myself not to let her have that power over me.
This is an excellent mindset to have, and it sounds like you figured it out far quicker than I did. Partners with this disorder thrive on that power, as I am sure you know. Good on you for recognizing that.


Excerpt
To sum it up, I've come a long way since all of this mess started last April. There's still a little ways to go, but at least I'm chatting with the opposite sex again. Maybe I'll have a date night one of these days in the near future. We'll see.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Best wishes to all of you, and thank you for all of your help over the last 10 months that I've been here.
I am thrilled that you are doing this well in spite of the horrendous treatment you received from your ex. Getting back out there and dating again is an excellent sign! I wish you all the best with your new relationships going forward and I am glad you are getting close to putting this behind you. You deserve that happiness.
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« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2021, 12:01:20 PM »

I saw my ex-g/f again last Friday while she was next door at her folk's house visiting. This makes the second time in two weeks that she's walked over into my yard. Last Friday she was there when I got home from work but left shortly after 5:00. I went outside to do some work on my storage shed after I ate dinner, and she showed back up again around 7:00 while I was still outside.

About 30 minutes later, I see her come out the back door of the house into the backyard with her sister's dog. She did not put the dog on a leash or the chain in the backyard. After a few minutes, her sister's dog saw me out in my yard with my dog and ran over to see us. Naturally, she had to walk over to into my yard to get the dog. She took a minute to say hello and to pet my dog, then she apologized and walked back over. Just like the time before, she would never make eye contact with me. Three years ago when she was living next door at her parent's with her children and her own dog following her separation with her ex-husband, she would do the same thing and let her dog run loose. Her dog always ran over to me when she saw me outside, and my ex would have to run over and get her. Usually that would lead to a conversation between us. When we started dating 3-4 months later, she confessed to me that she deliberately would bring her dog outside not on a leash hoping that she would run over to see me, which would give her a reason to see/speak with me. Part of me wonders if that was her motivation last week, or if it is a coincidence. She really doesn't look like she's taking care of herself and has gained a lot of weight.

I was talking to some mutual friends last evening. They told me that my ex is thinking about moving to a town about 45 minutes to an hour away from the town that we live in. That would be closer to where her son now lives primarily with his dad. Our mutual friends and I agreed that this would be a difficult feat for her, as the cost of rent in that area is higher than it is where we live. I told them if she did move, that would be good for me personally because that would mean that she'd be at her parent's house a lot less if she didn't live in this area. They agreed that would be a good thing, but said they are skeptical about it materializing. She lived down in that area when she was married to her ex-husband, and she probably only visited her folks once every month to six weeks or so during that time.  

Hope everyone is doing well and that you all are taking care of yourselves!  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 277


« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2021, 12:17:11 PM »

Just a really quick update. Many of you know that I joined a dating website/app back in February. I made a couple of connections initially, but none of them really panned out.

I've been talking to a woman 3 years younger than me for a little over a week. I'm the one that made initial contact with her.   She seems quite intelligent, has a good job and appears to be self-sufficient unlike my BPD ex-wife or my recent uBPD ex-gf. Our conversations so far have went really well, and I was getting to a point to where I though about asking her to dinner or for coffee so we could sit and chat. Last evening while we were talking, she asked me what I was doing on Friday night. I told her I had nothing planned since my daughter is going with my ex-wife for the weekend. She beat me to the punch and asked if I would like to meet her for dinner at 6:00 pm. I graciously agreed, and we have a date. My plan is just to go there to relax and enjoy some company with the opposite sex. I have no expectations other than having a good time while being cautious (but not hypervigilant) at the same time.

I'll provide an update this weekend and let you all know how it works out. It's a 30 minute drive, roughly, from where I live to the area where she lives.
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 12608



« Reply #15 on: June 01, 2021, 02:35:04 PM »

Sounds fun! Do let us know how it goes!
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
brighter future
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 277


« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2021, 02:00:20 PM »

Here's a quick update on the date from last Friday night. We met at a well known pizza restaurant in the area, then followed that up with dessert across the parking lot from the pizza place. The same people own both establishments. Between both locations, we spent nearly 4 hours talking and getting acquainted. There was no pressure at all, and we both had a good time.

She asked what I was doing on Saturday, and I said nothing outside of lawncare and some simple chores around the house. Then she proceeded to ask me if I wanted to hang out Saturday afternoon and evening. We met at a local park close to my home and hiked some of the trails. I asked if she felt safe riding with me (stated that she did), so we embarked on a 30+ mile trip in my vehicle to a local waterfall then to a popular mountain overlook a short distance away. We capped the evening off with dinner at a local restaurant when we got back to town. I heard from her later that night after we both got home, and she said, "Just so you know, I have sincerely enjoyed every minute of our time together. Thank you for being genuine and easy to talk to and fun to be around. It is refreshing spending time with you." I told her that the feeling was mutual. We've talked every day and are going to try and get together soon when our schedules and parenting time with our own children allow us to do so. There is no love bombing or anything over the top going on, so that's a good sign.

She admitted to some emotional issues (same for me) and goes to counseling once/month. She's recently divorced but has been legally separated from her ex for over two years, and described that relationship as co-dependent. After that, she told me that she grew up with a single mother and had very little supervision during her teen years. During that time period, she stated that she never saw what a stable and loving relationship was like between a man and a woman. She said that therapy with a good counselor has helped her a lot with that.  Of course, I had similar things to share as far as turbulent relationships. She's made it known that she is very interested in me but at the same time she said that she needs to take things slow with any potential relationship especially for the sake of her 3 children. I reminded her on the second date on Saturday that I'm still only looking for a friends first relationship at this time no matter who it is. She agreed and said that's what's best for her at this time as well.

I receive daily text messages most of time from her in the morning giving me well wishes for the day and letting me know that I'm in her thoughts. It's nice to receive things like that. I'm being cautious, but I like what I see so far.
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