Help 18 Year Old

[Lulu2317]

I have an 18 year old family member who is now living with me.  She has been diagnosed with BPD for many years.  When she was under 18 her parents had her in many therapy sessions, none leading to success.  Now at 18 she refuses the assistance she has had run in with the law, domestic and self-abuse, also is using drugs vaping as far as we know.  Her boyfriend of many years does not see an issue and exposes her to harmful environments.  She has nowhere else to go but I am struggling with her to do just brush her teeth. My marriage is suffering due to her outbursts.  She has dropped out of college quit her activities and focuses on spending all her time with her boyfriend.  She is on medication but unless told to take it she will not, people around her do not believe she needs the meds which is reinforcing her beliefs.  We are at a loss and see her just spiraling out of control, how and what can we do to help her?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome,
 It is terrifying to watch  a young adult BPD to spiral out.  For one thing, since they are adult, we can't really force them into getting help turning their lives around.  Thank you for reaching out to us as a part of your network of support.   I have suggested reading for you :
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=297544.0
From this forum .  It also helps to read up more on BPD like the suggested reading of " Stop Walking on Eggshells".  Please write back and share more with us if you are inclined.