I don’t know what to do

[southerngirldad]

I feel helpless and lost with my relationship with my wife. I think she has bpd and I need help. I first realized something was wrong shortly after the birth of our first kid 5 years ago and assumed it was post partum depression or something but after a year or so I thought that I was to blame and lost my sense of what was up or down etc. Another year goes by and i was trying to figure out why I was such a bad father/husband/person and I started to realize I needed to see a therapist. She refused to see a marriage counselor because I was the one that needed to change. After seeing a therapist and getting my confidence back  I was able to see that maybe i wasn’t the root cause of our family troubles. I found a book that opened me eyes and helped me to understand what I was experiencing. “Stop Caretaking the BP/NP” was the most relatable book I have ever read. Looking back, there signs all along from when we first started dating that I completely missed or chose to ignore. Here we a few years later and nothing has changed, if anything it has gotten worse. She refuses to get help or admit that she has any issues.  It helps to understand but I don’t know how to survive my marriage and raise a happy healthy family. I’m looking for a support group to help me get through the tougher days and get her the help she needs.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

Your story is textbook; the structure is the same as countless here, only the details vary. Welcome

What are some of the issues in your relationship that are causing problems? How can we help you?