Adolescent with BPD (maybe DMDD?

[Parents! Get help here!]

I've started reading a book called "The Uncontrollable Child- Understand and Manage Your Child's Disruptive Moods with DBT" (Matis Miller)

I have to say it has been really helpful for me as a relative newbie in how to rethink my position, my daughter's emotional state and how to more effectively deal with her. It's def not an easy process but it's helping me deal with some of the disconnect I feel with her. By "disconnect," I mean I can't stand her most of the time. But if I, a presumably neurotypical person, can't figure out how to use these skills, how can I expect her, a damaged 14yo to do it? Anyway, I thinks it's a good resource. Oh and now I think DMDD may be the juvenile form of BPD, which is interesting (before DMDD was a dx, kids were often dx as bipolar but they never developed adult traits of bipolar. Those that done get better are often eventually diagnosed with BPD)

[JD2028]

I've started reading a book called "The Uncontrollable Child- Understand and Manage Your Child's Disruptive Moods with DBT" (Matis Miller)

I have to say it has been really helpful for me as a relative newbie in how to rethink my position, my daughter's emotional state and how to more effectively deal with her. It's def not an easy process but it's helping me deal with some of the disconnect I feel with her. By "disconnect," I mean I can't stand her most of the time. But if I, a presumably neurotypical person, can't figure out how to use these skills, how can I expect her, a damaged 14yo to do it? Anyway, I thinks it's a good resource. Oh and now I think DMDD may be the juvenile form of BPD, which is interesting (before DMDD was a dx, kids were often dx as bipolar but they never developed adult traits of bipolar. Those that done get better are often eventually diagnosed with BPD)

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PearlsBefore]

I don't have answers, just a question - does it seem like the DMDD targets strangers and casual acquaintances, or is it usually focused rage on specific individuals your child dislikes? I just ask because it's one of the many terms jumbling around in my head in regards to a certain child - and while I'm certainly not qualified to dx, it is interesting to me to know more about its presentation, etc.

[wendydarling]

That's really helpful and useful JD2028.  I've not read the book. You are right if we don't learn DBT how can we relate, connect. My DD's been through DBT and it's a continuous process and requires constant reinforcement and the skills used everyday. I've been walking with her.

I've not heard of DMDD Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/disruptive-mood-dysregulation-disorder/index.shtml.
Symptoms:
- Severe temper outbursts (verbal or behavioral), on average, three or more times per week
- Outbursts and tantrums that have been ongoing for at least 12 months
- Chronically irritable or angry mood most of the day, nearly every day
- Trouble functioning due to irritability in more than one place (at home, at school, and with peers)
Youth with DMDD are diagnosed between the ages of 6 and 10. To be diagnosed with DMDD, a child must have experienced symptoms steadily for 12 or more months.

My DD did not display the symptoms listed as a child, she was diagnosed BPD at 26. It's interesting you can relate, others here may too.

[JD2028]

I don't have answers, just a question - does it seem like the DMDD targets strangers and casual acquaintances, or is it usually focused rage on specific individuals your child dislikes? I just ask because it's one of the many terms jumbling around in my head in regards to a certain child - and while I'm certainly not qualified to dx, it is interesting to me to know more about its presentation, etc.

Tbh I think my daughter is full on BPD, it's just that there is a reluctance to label an adolescent with that particular diagnosis. But the DMDD symptoms fit. Interestingly 80% of DMDD kids also have ADHD. I think as they age and the symptoms get worse it, morphs into, or is re-diagnosed as BPD, in adults.  It's a very new addition to DSM so there aren't any long term studies.