Awesome News in my life, unrecovered BPD manager RESIGNED

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have had such awesome support over the years from this website.  Thank you!

Most recently I was sharing about dealing with increasing anxiety dealing with the irrational malice of a long-term manager who was becoming more and more abusive to me on a daily basis and also leaving more and more disrespectful and undeserved comments on my quarterly work evaluations. 

I had used the work EPA program to have five counseling sessions during this past year re how this woman was triggering my complex-PTSD symptoms from growing up with an unrecovered borderline mother and alcoholic father.  Unfortunately, the counseling was not as supportive and helpful as I would have wanted, but I am glad I made a proactive effort to deal with this woman.  It also helped to share here.

The manager had become steadily more intensely abusive and then she would back off for a while until the next cruel ambush, but my anxiety was always triggered while on the job since I knew Dr. Jekyll easily could swing into savage Mr. Hyde!

Anyway, tonight is my first worknight without this horrible woman hovering and destined to ambush me and to astonish me with her irrational and crazy-making malice when I work so hard and so excellently. No lie.

When she announced she was resigning two weeks ago, i was intellectually relieved but I was surprised I didn't feel more of an emotional relief.  It was like I was afraid to exhale. Like I was nearly incapable of believing she was truly going and that the quality of my work life would be raised so easily and quickly.  Hah!  And without me doing anything to protect myself.  Circumstances were simply suddenly on my side. I have no idea why she is leaving.  She should have been fired years ago. I don't begin to trust her leaving is about justice on the job, but who knows?

I have been meaning to get back on the board here and thank you guys for your support during my often work crises in the past with toxic authority figures exhibiting the traits of my borderline mother or narcissistic father or significant people who bullied me in my past. 

I have a lovely supervisor.  And whoever takes over as new manager can't be as bad as the woman who has left.  Dealing with someone who has such a "prejudice" against you and who "scapegoats" you to satisfy her own need for power and egotism was really exhausting and demoralizing.

Hurray!  She is gone!  Hurray.  Let me let myself feel the relief and the joy!

[bethanny]

I have had such awesome support over the years from this website.  Thank you!

Most recently I was sharing about dealing with increasing anxiety dealing with the irrational malice of a long-term manager who was becoming more and more abusive to me on a daily basis and also leaving more and more disrespectful and undeserved comments on my quarterly work evaluations. 

I had used the work EPA program to have five counseling sessions during this past year re how this woman was triggering my complex-PTSD symptoms from growing up with an unrecovered borderline mother and alcoholic father.  Unfortunately, the counseling was not as supportive and helpful as I would have wanted, but I am glad I made a proactive effort to deal with this woman.  It also helped to share here.

The manager had become steadily more intensely abusive and then she would back off for a while until the next cruel ambush, but my anxiety was always triggered while on the job since I knew Dr. Jekyll easily could swing into savage Mr. Hyde!

Anyway, tonight is my first worknight without this horrible woman hovering and destined to ambush me and to astonish me with her irrational and crazy-making malice when I work so hard and so excellently. No lie.

When she announced she was resigning two weeks ago, i was intellectually relieved but I was surprised I didn't feel more of an emotional relief.  It was like I was afraid to exhale. Like I was nearly incapable of believing she was truly going and that the quality of my work life would be raised so easily and quickly.  Hah!  And without me doing anything to protect myself.  Circumstances were simply suddenly on my side. I have no idea why she is leaving.  She should have been fired years ago. I don't begin to trust her leaving is about justice on the job, but who knows?

I have been meaning to get back on the board here and thank you guys for your support during my often work crises in the past with toxic authority figures exhibiting the traits of my borderline mother or narcissistic father or significant people who bullied me in my past. 

I have a lovely supervisor.  And whoever takes over as new manager can't be as bad as the woman who has left.  Dealing with someone who has such a "prejudice" against you and who "scapegoats" you to satisfy her own need for power and egotism was really exhausting and demoralizing.

Hurray!  She is gone!  Hurray.  Let me let myself feel the relief and the joy!

[madeline7]

What comes to mind is the scene in The Wizard of Oz as the witch melts into the water...Hail Dorothy! The witch is dead!

So happy for you!

[Methuen]

Oh Bethany!  In this age where there has been so much bad news for a prolonged period of time, this is indeed uplifting news!  So happy for you!  And it's a reminder to all of us that good things can still happen when we are least expecting them!  Congratulations are in order 

[Mommydoc]

When she announced she was resigning two weeks ago, i was intellectually relieved but I was surprised I didn't feel more of an emotional relief.  It was like I was afraid to exhale. Like I was nearly incapable of believing she was truly going and that the quality of my work life would be raised so easily and quickly. 

Hurray!  She is gone!  Hurray.  Let me let myself feel the relief and the joy!

Congratulations Bethanny, what a wonderful feeling this must be.   I know exactly what you mean about being afraid to exhale, afraid to let your guard down, and to enjoy, feel relief and joy, with your much improved work environment. But please do.   I too have found incredible support here and love that you shared some good news, to give all of us hope in our own situations.  Enjoy!

[bethanny]

Madeleine7 - That Wizard of Oz scene is exactly how it felt!  Still enjoying the unrecovered borderline manager benign "vacuum."  There is a lovely, vibrant woman who has taken her place and that is amazing to me -- that she actually listens and seems to care, is down to earth and self-disclosing. This is a honeymoon period, maybe, but it is kind of surreal after me walking on egg shells for maybe 8 years.  (My sense of time gets worse the older I get.) Yahoo.

Metheun, thanks so much for your good wishes.  The isolation from the pandemic has seemed to fuel even more my frequent low-grade depression in me and this spectacular development, with this highly toxic person suddenly out of my orbit, feels like a gigantic gift from the universe. What a difference in quality of worklife. 

Mommydoc, thanks for celebrating with me.  I am sorry I didn't get back to you guys immediately after posting. I knew my comrades on this site would truly get this awesome development and be able to celebrate it with me.  Of course life ambushes at times, but this was an exceptional scenario having her gone and not harassing and shaming me continually.  I think I need to connect more here and maybe other websites I participate in because I often feel I deliberately numb out. 

I am political -- a leftie -- on twitter but that is a more detached and huge community and I miss environments like 12 step meetings to talk about my psychological history and present. Don't get that personal on Twitter. Thought I think it gives me a place to vent some repressed historical anger in a political channel.

I was going to participate more in the Crappy Childhood Fairy website.  Podcasts and video lessons there. I had also been accessing podcasts on psychopaths and narcissists and dealing with them.

 I seem to get brave and earnestly self-healing in spurts and then I pull back. But I have done so much research and self-analysis through journaling and 12-step meetings all my life, I do want to feel more grounded more often in terms of a sense of self.  I am so avoidant of stress, I am missing out on the positive stress of life which inspires and brings both satisfaction and gratification.

[Siblings123]

That’s amazing news! So happy for you!
That will make so much difference in every day!
So glad that you really like your new boss!