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Author Topic: Partner displays almost every trait of BPD  (Read 156 times)
loveliverun86
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: living together (domestic partnership)
Posts: 1


« on: May 06, 2021, 10:12:50 AM »

My partner of 2 years displays almost every trait of BPD and to the most extreme side on almost every trait as well. I keep asking him to get help (professional therapy) and to get a diagnosis of whatever is going on with him, so we can mend our issue and move forward together. He has had every excuse in the book as to why he doesn’t have a long spot booked and it’s been 6 months. I recently told him he has 2 weeks to book an appt or else we’re done. He agrees
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Rev
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 641


The surest way to fail is to never try.


« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2021, 04:23:50 PM »

My partner of 2 years displays almost every trait of BPD and to the most extreme side on almost every trait as well. I keep asking him to get help (professional therapy) and to get a diagnosis of whatever is going on with him, so we can mend our issue and move forward together. He has had every excuse in the book as to why he doesn’t have a long spot booked and it’s been 6 months. I recently told him he has 2 weeks to book an appt or else we’re done. He agrees

Hey there and welcome.

Let us know how it goes.

Stay safe.

Rev
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alterK

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 29


« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2021, 02:00:32 PM »

Hi Loveliverun, I too am newish. Here's the basic principal that people who struggle with a BPD partner will tell you: You can't change your partner. You can only change yourself.

A BPD sufferer is usually very resistant to direct suggestions. They are so desperate inside and so set on using their maladaptive ways of holding their world together that any suggestion they do anything different is reacted to as a threat. However, you can work on yourself. Increase your understanding, reaffirm your self-worth, learn ways of dealing with your partner that produce better responses. There are some decent books in the Tools section.

Good luck!
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