New Member

[JustJill]

Hi there,
I just found bpdfamily and am so relieved to finally talk to others who are walking in my shoes.  Living with my 23 year old daughter has been exhausting and terrifying. I feel like I’m the one that needs to get on meds - recently realized I’ve been depressed for quite a while. We’ve had some good days sprinkled in between the turmoil. She is working full time which is good. But has no friends. Pushes everyone away, then complains that she has no friends. Feels like I don’t love her , nor her older brother. Her Intense emotional blow ups scare me. When mad , says she’s moving out but then doesn’t . I’m so tired of the slamming doors and screaming rages. I called the police once . Suicidal threats are frequent too. Says she’s attempted several times. Blames me for everything wrong in her life.
Im about ready to give her the ultimatum- go to therapy or move out. I can’t take this much longer.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

I wish there was a formula that one could use to help us along our journey with a BPD child - no matter how old!

Working full time is a huge plus. Not only does it give to time apart but keeps your dd in touch with the 'real' world.

It can be an intolerable situation, but it's hard to know if things could get worse. For example if you push for 'get therapy or move out' - if she moved out how would she cope? Would the job go?

I've tried lots of things trying to help dd get started on her own feet. In the end it just took a toll on me financially. I hsould have realised she wasn't able to cope with the responsibility of running a place, coping financially, holding down a job and generally being responsible for herself.

So in the end, she is back here, unable to work really and self medicating with substances.

Others here have made different decisions along their journey.

I wish I had focused on myself more along my journey. If you can find your own support system - activities that help you relax etc, you don't feel so swallowed up by this awful, awful mental illness.

Thinking of you . . .

[By Still Water]

The rages are so difficult to deal with, we know. Your idea may be a sound one, being she's 23. Would she need a roommate to be out on her own?