Also after he has a manic episode is it best or me to approach him to try to settle things or should I wait until he calms down and him to approach me. I guess my problem is that I don't want these things to extend to days and days and am eager to bring resolution quickly because otherwise its so draining...
Hi Roseville,
Welcome. You've come to really good place and you're on the bettering board, which means, well you're looking to make things better.
What that really means is that even more than other places here, things are really in the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" category.
Would it be okay if I asked a few questions for some clarity?
1) How long have you two been together?
2) Do you have children?
3) What if you knew that things were manageable and you would be contented enough to feel that you could sustain your part of the relationship, how would you know?
4) What is one thing that you'd like to add to this relationship today?
5) What are three things about yourself that you really like that you are not willing to sacrifice of have taken for granted.
The first two questions clarify how much is at stake for you.
The next three are really about where you are going to want to put down your boundaries. One thing is for sure, if your partner has BPD, then firm boundaries are an absolute must.
I really hope that helps a little.
Peace ,
Rev
