I think my wife has BPD.

[Cajun Spud]

All,

I have been married to my second wife for 14 years. The first 11 of those years were difficult at times as she suffered from breast cancer. She now has chemo induced neuropathy that requires a strict pain medication regiment.

3 years ago she discovered that I was viewing porn. This was every bit a betrayal to her as if I had a physical affair with a person. This has caused my wife to increasingly spiral out of control and our relationship is in jeopardy. I entered into therapy to determine what was going on with myself. After spending the last 6 months with a psychologist and telling him of the increasing conflict with my wife he suggested I look into BPD and compare my experiences with my wife with those who have BPD. It has been an eye opener and has led me to this forum. I am in the process of reading "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" and learning great deal. However, I find that I need additional support from others who have experienced what I am going through and to offer some guidance. I look forward to hearing from you all.

Cajun Spud

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hey Cajun Spud, welcome;

Kudos to you for seeking support to make things different in your relationship. While there aren't any guarantees, there have been a lot of members here who have learned new tools and skills that have made things better. They can now ride out the difficult cycles and enjoy the calm and positive times with an SO who struggles with a PD (personality disorder).

Is your wife open to participating in any kind of counseling, whether individual or marriage?

Keep posting whenever works for you -- we'll be here.

-kells76