I filed an incident report with the Hawaii PD. At least they have his name in the database. At some point I’d like to open a civil lawsuit but my H would most likely hear about that.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I also want to commend you for being strong and filing the incident report and for speaking with your counselor about this matter.
"For now", I agree with your counselor and others that keeping information close to hand is a wise thing. Be aware that as you consider and process this over the next weeks and months you may think of this incident and what you want "to do" about it in very different ways.
This knowledge from a friend is only a week old, that's very fresh and painful information, please pay special attention to your self care.
Last (for now): Especially with fresh and hurtful things like this, I recommend breaking down decisions into smaller..more manageable tasks.
So...the incident report is filed, perhaps follow up to see if there is any chance of them investigating, perhaps talk with a lawyer in that area to see if there are other avenues to pursue with the police that haven't been considered yet.
Civil lawsuit: Maybe the decision isn't to file or not file, but interview several attorneys, then consider the answers you get for a while.
Be strong and be kind to yourself.
Best,
FF