My friend alternates who she is mad at

[Shadeycows4612]

So myself and my bestfriend and her boyfriend all live together as roommates and recently she has been going through the process of trying to be diagnosed with bpd. For the last several months I have been in agony thinking something was wrong with me and all her behaviors were normal and it was all in my head(I have severe anxiety) I still constantly walk on egg shells around her trying not to set her off and avoid getting yelled at. I often feel as though she alternates between being mad at me and her boyfriend, it's like week on week off and the times she is kind to me are awesome and I love her and never want to be away from her, but during this it's like everything her boyfriend does sets her off and makes her mad. Then a few days later it's like a switch in her head goes off and it switches, her boyfriend is her favorite person on the planet and everything I do makes her mad and sets her off. Then a few days later it switches again. I don't know what to do at this point, cause it's gotten to a point where I'm just trying to extend the amount of time that she isn't mad at me. Causing me to be miserable trying not to set her off by doing everything she asks me to. This is really difficult because we are very close and have separation anxiety from eachother so when she is mad at me I just suffer through till it passes because I am not happy when away from her nor is she with me. When i try to bring it up to her that I am upset she lashes out and somehow turns it around on me. It's like she's putting words in my mouth but using all my own words. I've tried setting boundaries but bringing them up causes her to lash out and end up in one of her angry episodes with me, which then puts me into a depressive and anxious state. We live together and constantly feeling like this in my own home is beginning to get harder and harder as each day passes. Anybody got any suggestions on how I can improve how I feel about our situations?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

This is who she is, a very volatile person. People with BPD have intense shame and self loathing, and rather than confront that, she projects it upon you and her boyfriend.

To successfully cope with someone with BPD, you have to have a thick skin and not be bothered by their unkindness. Easier said than done.

Many of us who have a beloved BPD in our lives grew up in a family with a parent or sibling with a personality disorder. Could this be true of you?

Even therapists seek treatment when they have a difficult BPD client. Have you consulted with a mental health professional for your anxiety and depression? If not, now is a good time to find someone who could help.