This is only my 2nd post, but I've been reading a lot on the boards and the articles (not to mention books).
First of all, is there a post with a list of helpful abbreviations used on this board? I can sort out what some of the abbreviations mean, but not all of them.
Here are some questions I'm sorting through and wondered if others might share some insight.
Anyone observed their loved one sleeping excessively after a rage episode? Hubby recovered last Friday (after raging Thursday night), then he slept Saturday from around 12pm or so till Sunday morning.
Do other loved ones snoop through your emails, social media, journals, notes, etc? When his racing/suspicious thoughts take over, he goes through anything of mine that he can find and looks for things to support his irrational thinking. How do you maintain any privacy? The only things I’m concerned about him finding have to do with him and navigating our relationship. Things like my journal, emails, message board stuff, articles, or search history of researching BPD.
Anyone have experience with loved one adamantly rejecting any type of diagnosis, yet agreeable to therapy? He’s in DBT and CBT. His rages average every 6-8 weeks or so. Just long enough in between for me to start to feel a bit more comfortable and let my guard down. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he loses it. I am seeing improvement from the therapy though.
Anyone have experience with the loved one’s family not seeing the bpd behavior, continuing to enable the loved one, minimizing his behavior, and blaming you, the spouse or SO? How do you handle that? So far, I’m able to leave it be. But it steps on my issues of wanting fairness and justice and being misunderstood. They all think the crisis event on 6/16 is my fault – partly because that's what hubby portrayed to them.
(6/16 was the straw that broke the camel's back - he was raging, drunk, I hunkered down in the bathroom, he continued to rage at me through the door, never threatened himself or me, but he did threaten to go shoot/kill two men he believed to have been in my past. He loaded his pistol and I called our therapist who called the police. SWAT surrounded our house. When he went outside to his truck to get something, the police detained him. took him to county hospital and he was kept for a week on protective order. He has said during rages and when he's calm, that I wasn't really scared, that I was punishing him and being vindictive. He halfway accepts responsibility, but it's always followed up with "but you" or "but the police" or any number of excuses. He and his family think I overreacted. None of them see his behavior as abusive.) *btw, I and my 17 year old daughter from my 1st marriage moved to our own apartment. I wouldn't say we are separated, because we interact, date, hang out, but we are living apart.)
Any practical words or phrases you use for validation that are easy to remember for beginners in the heat of the moment? I'm compiling a list I can memorize
Thanks! I'm so glad I found this group.
