Having to live with family members diagnosed with BPD

[mama04]

This post is to introduce myself to the group. I mainly want others with family members who are also BPD. I grew up with a BPD mom. My first husband was BPD with severe OCD. My daughter got into drugs and drinking, and always had odd behavior. She was diagnosed few years ago when she turned 36 with BPD, OCD, with a sprinkling of schizophrenia. My son who just turned 24 has been diagnosed with BPD and Suicide Ideation. I've been exposed all my life and I've naturally learned - the hard way - how to deal with each family member. I'm rereading "Walking on Eggshells"; the new edition that just came out has been more helpful. My younger brother and I talk about it often since his wife also has BPD. We have become each others "eye of the storm" so to speak. I guess what I'm looking for is a group unlike my well-meaning friends who think all you need to do is love them and that fixes everything. We all know better. We love each and every family member, but we've learned the hard way, that love doesn't always work.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wantmorepeace]

Agreed.  Love does not make everything fine and well-meaning friends and family often do not get it!

I also think that an important question is what making things "work" means in this context.  What do you want to accomplish that you can realistically accomplish (or said another way, that you have control over)?  Then the question becomes what it takes to get there.