Angel PW
Fewer than 3 Posts
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Adult Daughter
Posts: 1
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« on: August 24, 2021, 04:55:26 PM » |
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Hello!
I am a 53 year old mother of five, grandmother of three whose oldest daughter, age 32, has BPD. My daughter had two children by different fathers and since the birth of the last one in 2016, has been slipping down the spiral into repeated suicide attempts, overdoses, tumultuous abusive relationships, emotional abuse and neglect of her children, heavy drug and alcohol abuse and delusional psychosis. We had taken temporary custody a couple of times in the past, but after witnessing too many incidences in which the children were subject to verbal, physical, and psychological abuse and mom's impulsive, dangerous behaviors, we took custody of our eight year old granddaughter and the five year old's father took custody of her. Mom was given supervised visitation only--something she feels is extremely unfair.
Over the last seven months, she has sent me hundreds of abusive emails and texts, had two psychiatric hospital stays for suicide threats and attempts, threw an accordion through her ex boyfriend's car windshield, and then tells me how I'm a horrible mother for not letting her take her kids unsupervised.
She has also pulled the "cancer card" telling us that she has terminal endocrine cancer and has less than nine months to live, but every time I ask her to let me talk to her doctor or show me a piece of paper proving that she is at least receiving treatment, she flips out, claims I have Munchausen by Proxy and that she'll never let me see her medical records because of things I supposedly screwed up in the past (she has actually rewritten her life story posing me as a monster who abused her and abandoned her and I don't know if she even knows what the truth is anymore). None of her recent past boyfriends can honestly say they have seen or received proof that she has cancer, but she shaves her head, says its from her "treatments," claims to be paying $900 per month out of pocket for special treatments (even though she has medicaid), and tells us we are pathetic cold hearted people because we won't buy her a fifth vehicle (she destroyed, trashed, or crashed the other four we gave her over the last ten years).
She now has moved in with a new boyfriend closer to where we live and she is pushing to have the kids unsupervised. Last weekend, my husband and I had to attend his best friend's funeral, and we left the children with reliable responsible child care at our house. My daughter showed up early with her boyfriend, told my child care friend she could leave, and then they took the kids for the afternoon. Thankfully she did keep in touch after I found out and she did bring them back, but the father of the youngest found out and now he won't let me be the supervisor for his daughter anymore. We are heartbroken over this.
I've been dealing with this for over thirty years and I'm tired, exhausted, emotionally drained, emotionally divorced from my daughter, and trying to figure out how to keep the kids safe while allowing her as much time with them as possible when she is feeling well. I just read "When the Ship Has No Stabilizers" and "The Push," two books that helped me to see that we're not alone in this, but it's hard to know what to do, how to react, how to respond, etc. Any advice or support is appreciated!
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