Newly separated

[Eva812]

Hello-
My Spouse has BPD.  After 7 years of devaluation I requested a separation.  I am seeking advice for filing for divorce as I no longer want to live a life that doesn’t emotionally serve me.  Any advice is welcome, however, if anyone has had a positive experience with a lawyer who is well versed in BPD To help me I would be grateful.  I live in Chicagoland area.

[MeandThee29]

Being in a metropolitan area, you will have a lot to choose from. That's good.

In your search look for the phrase "high conflict divorce." Some specialize in that or have so much experience that it is in the fabric of what they know. Some will mention "disordered spouses" in their blogs/Facebook pages as well. Keep in mind that some high-powered attorneys are disordered, nasty individuals themselves, so watch for that. I heard plenty of stories in my immediate area about my ex's attorney that way that gave me pause, so he was never on my list. I ended up driving some distance, but it was worth it.

Some attorneys know about Bill Eddy (who is an attorney with a background in social work) and have been to his seminars. You should read/listen to everything you can find from him.

I interviewed five, and ended up at a firm that specialized in high conflict divorce. I chose the managing partner by reputation and because came across as a truly humble man. No, I really couldn't afford him, but I was expecting the fight of my life. An acquaintance called him "grandpa with an iron rod." He garnered the respect of everyone in the legal community, including my ex's attorney. I liked that he delegated appropriately to an associate that he was mentoring that had a similar personality.

They completely got it. At times both of them took chances with my case that paid off, and I learned to completely trust them.