Discard process initiated

[Tahoma]

My noncohabitating partner of 3 1/2 years has BPD and ADHD, and has been devaluing me heavily lately; it seems to be a reaction to the fact that I'm struggling hard to cope with life challenges (job change, reduced resources, & family health issues, plus my pre-existing depression & ADD) and that I need emotional support that he's not wired to be able to give.

It is also a year since his once-estranged father died, and he will receive his inheritance check this month. I have been providing some financial support to him throughout our relationship and, while he's done a little of that for me, it's about a 90/10 ratio--partly due to my greater income, but also due to a couple of expensive habits he has that I don't.

I love him dearly, but his devaluing behavior is increasingly hard to endure, although I've hung in there so far to avoid hurting him by abandoning him. This whole situation has left me a perpetually teary mess, and he hates it when I cry--which leads to a cycle of further devaluing and further distress and so on...fun times.

We are on the brink of a breakup, and I don't know whether to let him succeed in pushing me out of his life, go no-contact, and try to make the best of it--or hang in there for more of his push-pull torment and hope he goes back to recognizing my value and treating me accordingly.

I feel as though I've been sucked dry of everything good, leaving me as a withered husk of my former self, and am being thrown away as an object of no further use.

Experienced partners of people livin with BPD: is there any hope for restoration of our relationship, or should I just cut my losses and run?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tahoma]

Sorry, the website prompted me to create my first post , so I clicked the button and did just that before seeing the part about "no run responses"...please ignore the part about cutting my losses, etc., because I'd really rather stay with him if that's at all possible (without destroying myself).

[Cat Familiar]

By “restoration” of the relationship, what specifically are you hoping for?