Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 06, 2024, 05:00:34 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Which end is the end?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Which end is the end? (Read 343 times)
Khyrah
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up...again.
Posts: 1
Which end is the end?
«
on:
September 06, 2021, 09:43:39 PM »
I am, again, at the 'ending' of my 5 year rocky relationship. I am so confused, lonely and sad thatit's incredible. All I know is that after multiple counselors, family members and friends telling me that I NEED to stop enduring this relationship I am finally willing to look at my own role in continuing the toxic cycle. I have to be strong enough to stop my own drowning. I am here to find healthy encouragement and the strength to continue my counselors advice of 1 month no contact to get clarity for myself. Trauma bonding is a real thing.
Logged
JSbrooklyn247
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 6
Re: Which end is the end?
«
Reply #1 on:
September 06, 2021, 11:15:15 PM »
Trauma bonding most definitely is real. I've been where you are, many of us on the board here have. If you have the strength to endure the ups and downs of the relationship for as many years as you have, you are certainly quite strong. I have a feeling you may have come to the realization that only you can truly end the cycle. While we can't control their own inner emotional rollercoaster, we can certainly choose to step off and reassess what you want in your relationships with others and yourself.
While I'm sure your friends and family miss the upbeat, fun loving and emotionally available person you once were, I strongly suspect you miss that person even more. Like a baby taking their first steps, you too need to learn...or in this case relearn... how to walk on your own two feet again.
With that being said, lean on your counselors support and allow your friends and family to be there for you when needed. Find yourself again and get back to doing the things you love to do. Sign up for social groups, join a yoga/surfing/knitting/music/etc group, connect with nature, whatever you're into or want to try, life is too short to put ourselves second.
It won't be easy but you got this. If you're still in communication but you would like to end things, you're best bet is to either go full no contact OR if have an intense desire for closure, state your boundaries while being 100% honest with yourself and them about your own feelings and needs. (ie. "This whole experience has been very challenging for me. Here are my values: an open an honest relationship, 50-50 partnership, etc. If we're not on the same page, that's totally alright. I value our good times together however I think it's best we work on ourselves at this time in our lives."
Side note: I'm not a counselor nor do I play one on tv, so please consult with yours before following my advice =)
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Which end is the end?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...