Back stalking and more aggressive than before

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I've told my story a couple times on here if you're interested in the details, but they aren't necessary.

My ex left me a few years ago for someone else. After the fiery aftermath and numerous realizations, I managed to go no contact for 3 years at this point. Earlier this year, she started popping up at my work.

This last weekend she called in from a fake number, gave a fake name, and actually came in herself dressed in a way I was certain to recognize her. I was the only one working, so I dealt with it and made prolonged, emotionless eye contact with her in the process.

I also saw her crossing the storefront a couple times the following days right after I arrived at work. She made eye contact with me the first time, the second time she seemed to be meeting a date that followed shortly after. I should note that I work on the opposite side of town from her; probably a 20-30 minute drive.

I'm trying to fight the urge to confront her at the moment. I move in a couple months, though, so it's probably safer not to. Her current fiance was trying to hunt me down the last time she tried to triangulate, but even if they're on the rocks, this will end up toxic and I know I'll just be asking to get gaslit.

[RealiT]

I've told my story a couple times on here if you're interested in the details, but they aren't necessary.

My ex left me a few years ago for someone else. After the fiery aftermath and numerous realizations, I managed to go no contact for 3 years at this point. Earlier this year, she started popping up at my work.

This last weekend she called in from a fake number, gave a fake name, and actually came in herself dressed in a way I was certain to recognize her. I was the only one working, so I dealt with it and made prolonged, emotionless eye contact with her in the process.

I also saw her crossing the storefront a couple times the following days right after I arrived at work. She made eye contact with me the first time, the second time she seemed to be meeting a date that followed shortly after. I should note that I work on the opposite side of town from her; probably a 20-30 minute drive.

I'm trying to fight the urge to confront her at the moment. I move in a couple months, though, so it's probably safer not to. Her current fiance was trying to hunt me down the last time she tried to triangulate, but even if they're on the rocks, this will end up toxic and I know I'll just be asking to get gaslit.

[Ad Meliora]

Interesting.  Thanks for sharing.  So she didn't contact you for 3 years and then contacted you several months back--is that right?  What did you do then (it isn't clear from your posts)?  What are you going to do now?

[RealiT]

Interesting.  Thanks for sharing.  So she didn't contact you for 3 years and then contacted you several months back--is that right?  What did you do then (it isn't clear from your posts)?  What are you going to do now?

I've had the odd hang up call and a fake text conversation, but by and large, yeah she hasn't contacted me. She still hasn't, really... she just started showing up at my work place. The first time was on Valentine's day with her fiance, then another time with just a couple family members, and now alone.

I didn't do anything then and I don't plan to do anything now, honestly. Venting about the whole thing is therapeutic in itself and I already emailed my therapist about it. Confronting her won't get me anywhere.

It seems that she shows up when she and her partner have a break up and promptly disappears when they get back together, but I have seen her outside of work a fair few times when I shouldn't have as well. I'm not scared for my life or anything, just find it odd. I'm glad this didn't start sooner.

[Ad Meliora]

I've had the odd hang up call and a fake text conversation, but by and large, yeah she hasn't contacted me. She still hasn't, really... she just started showing up at my work place. The first time was on Valentine's day with her fiance, then another time with just a couple family members, and now alone.

Yeah, this is all really strange and interesting.  On Valentines day, is that this year when she sent you the loving text beforehand?  That's perplexing if that's the case.  So she's coming into your store, and staring at you, and you're treating her as a regular customer (ringing her up, etc...) without saying anything about the r/s you once had? 

I know you're speculating it has to do with when she's on the outs with the new fiancé, but what else do you think she's getting after?  It's interesting as you talked about her appearance changing.  They are great actors aren't they?  Is she trying on a new role, auditioning to be a part of your life again?  Very interesting indeed!

I just wonder if it could happen to me or someone else what's happening to you.