I think she’s trying to get my attention

[SomeoneNice]

Hello everyone
So today my ex came to class for the first time since the beginning of the semester (she skipped all previously lab classes presumably to avoid me) and she was laughing really loudly with a girl she barely knows in class (This is something she normally does post breakup to show that she’s happy, she admitted to doing this after her last breakup with her ex) but what really confused me is not her laughter but actually the way she was dressed.

The last time I saw her (on our last date) I was telling her how I’m collecting NBA jerseys, she said that they would look good on me but she wouldn’t wear them because they’re masculine”. I told her that they would look really attractive on her. Today, she was dressed in a black NBA jersey (I almost exclusively wear black clothes) and this is bizarre as she’s never wore anything like this before and the first time she decided to wear this was on the day she knew she was going to see me.

My question is, is she trying to get my attention? I’ve mentioned in a previous post how she created a new Instagram account but did not block me on it.

I don’t want her back or anything like that because I know that nothing will change however I would like to know if these are indirectly attempts at getting me interested again?

One last thing I wanna say for the sake of venting out is that seeing her sitting in the same classroom as me was the most depressing thing I’ve ever had to go through even though I maintained my cool and joked around with those near me and pretended to never look at her nor acknowledged her existence but it was extremely depressing.
I took care of her when she was sick for months and I endured so much for her and we had plans to graduate university together and now here I am in a classroom with her knowing that right now she’s just a stranger.
I really did love this girl with all my heart and it feels unfair how she just discarded me and immediately jumped to the next guy.

[once removed]

My question is, is she trying to get my attention?
...
I really did love this girl with all my heart and it feels unfair how she just discarded me and immediately jumped to the next guy.

if i told you "yes, shes trying to get your attention", would it help heal that wound?

is that, at the end of the day, what the question is about?

i know when i went through my breakup, it helped me to know, or at least think, that my ex was thinking about me, or doing things with me in mind. its cold comfort when someone dumps you and jumps into a new relationship.

heres the thing: you know her best, better than we do.

if you feel that she wore this jersey with you in mind, if she had never worn a jersey before, suddenly did, and youd had a specific conversation(s) about how much you liked them and wanted her to wear one, and she knew she was going to see you on that day, i dont think its an unreasonable conclusion to come to that she did it with you in mind.

what that means, exactly, is really anyones guess. if she wanted your attention, she could just talk to you. if she wanted you to talk to her, then she didnt really think that one through.

i suspect, if she wore the jersey with you in mind, it was because she wanted to look attractive. that could be a good thing (she wants to attract you) or a bad thing (she wants to stick it to you and "show you what you lost").

[SomeoneNice]

if i told you "yes, shes trying to get your attention", would it help heal that wound?

is that, at the end of the day, what the question is about?

i know when i went through my breakup, it helped me to know, or at least think, that my ex was thinking about me, or doing things with me in mind. its cold comfort when someone dumps you and jumps into a new relationship.

heres the thing: you know her best, better than we do.

if you feel that she wore this jersey with you in mind, if she had never worn a jersey before, suddenly did, and youd had a specific conversation(s) about how much you liked them and wanted her to wear one, and she knew she was going to see you on that day, i dont think its an unreasonable conclusion to come to that she did it with you in mind.

what that means, exactly, is really anyones guess. if she wanted your attention, she could just talk to you. if she wanted you to talk to her, then she didnt really think that one through.

i suspect, if she wore the jersey with you in mind, it was because she wanted to look attractive. that could be a good thing (she wants to attract you) or a bad thing (she wants to stick it to you and "show you what you lost").

To be honest it wouldn’t really help heal the wound however I’m trying to decipher what she’s doing because unfortunately I have her in most of my classes so I’m going to be seeing her until I graduate.

She also had on a lot of makeup and was wearing high heels. Normally I don’t look much into this but I remembered a conversation we had when she was telling me about What she did after her ex left her. She said the day after he broke up with her that she applied a lot of makeup and wore high heels and started walking around his friends so I concluded that the makeup and heels are meant to draw attention.

She likely wore it to “show me what I’ve lost” I guess although that didn’t seem to work well with the current persona and style she’s exhibiting (dyed her hair white and has face piercings)

It might seem like I’m reading into this too much but from the stories she’s told me about what she did after a relationship fails, apparently the way she dresses is supposed to convey an indirect message to the ex as she emphasized this a lot (Heels and makeup indicating she’s happy, lots of jewelry indicating she’s financially well, etc)

[grumpydonut]

Yes.

And you keep your self respect by not playing her game.

[SomeoneNice]

Yes.

And you keep your self respect by not playing her game.

I won’t play her game, trust me. But I fail to understand what she’s trying to achieve by trying to get my attention. I’ve been in NC for almost 4 months and we broke up nearly 5 months ago. If you read my last posts you’d see how much I tried to get her back by doing extreme things to prove to her I love her since she said that I’m a narcissist that never loved her.

I guess the most depressing part about this entire relationship is that I did my absolute extreme best to show her my love and keep her happy but in the end it all accounted for nothing and I was discarded harshly while she jumped onto the next guy. The even more depressing part is that I have to keep seeing her until I graduate.

[grumpydonut]

You will struggle to understand a disordered mind. They don't do rational things, because their perception is profoundly different to us.