Does this sound BPD to you?

[jambalaya421]

I am in the throws of missing her, but also moving on because it is clearly for the best. From what I can tell she was a thoughtful, wanting to get better person with BPD. She did attempt suicide in her youth and was a cutter. Is this automatic diagnosis? I sometimes cant tell if her love was real or it was all BPD. The discard was brutal, and I guess im seeking validation my hunch was correct and it was for the best. We really did seem to click rest of time. I guess thats the mirroring perhaps

33 years old, no healthy relationships longer than 3-6 months, and no personal friends at all.

abusive, emotionally distanced father

Intense love bombing, soul mates, future faking, I was god to her. talking about moving by me next year.

fear of abandonment, couple hours without a text and she would ask if I still liked her

lack of ability to get real deep in convos, sometimes she seemed extremely emotionally intelligent, other times would shut down

did not like receiving advice

Only one significant split when we had our first argument, and I broke it off, because the rollercoaster ride of constantly needing validation and reassurance was wearing on me. She said a very hurtful comment regarding my parenting style, when she was rarely around, and I finally had enough.

she has since blocked me on social, and according to what i read on net, no contact is best anyways, I was surprised her with tickets to bring her to shedd aquarium for her birthday, as sharks are her favorite and coral reefs mine. It was supposed to be special trip. and couple days before, we broke up.

even though I asked to end it, she turned it into what I felt was a discard, belittling my emotions, and blaming me. She split, and painted me black it feels. She has updated her facebook to pic of sharks at shedd aquarium.

does this sound like BPD, and do you think the facebook post is intentional to stir me up? Im not looking for a charm or signs of missing me. Its just more ammo, for me to know she is toxic and move on. I do have self respect and emotional abuse is where I draw the line.

sometimes I just cant tell if any of it was real. I have signed up for codependents anonymous. and called a therapist. for first time ever.  the welcome love bombing made me realize I must be codependent.

Please advise.

[rob66]

Tough to diagnose on your own. I mean, this board helps because you can compare your story to other people's stories. I would research and read and see what symptoms fit and which don't - still, it's tough to tell.This specific board, however, can help you focus on yourself, and how to handle the traumatic effects of a breakup. Focusing on you is, ultimately, what you want to do. Good luck and sorry about your situation.

[Ad Meliora]

Welcome Jambalaya.  I'll just second what Rob66 posted.  It "sounds" like BPD but there's no way to diagnose it, and that's not what we're looking to do.  Either way, it was a toxic relationship to you and Rob's right, look to take care of yourself.  If you can bring yourself to stop staring at the "Sharks in the Aquarium"  (Shedd--That's the one in Chicago right?) good to focus on distancing yourself from that relationship.

Good luck.