Does anyone feel guilty?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Does anyone feel like they are overreacting?.


To get a better understanding of what going on refer to the link

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=351237.0

I’ve been thinking of the best solution and I feel I should end it all. I can’t be best friends with her. But then I get these doubt thoughts    that I’m overreacting to this all, and I’m gonna abandon her. I promised that I would always be there for her. I asked for space, and touched briefly on why.

I received this message and I’m feeling guilt and a lot of others things. It doesn’t help I work closely with her at work. She kept putting words in my mouth. Using the excuse that “I couldn’t do that anymore because you were my best friend”  she felt like she as throwing it back in my face that she has been here with me through all the trauma and problems I faced in my life.
Then I received this one here is snipets

“Sorry for that over reaction.
I understand it would be hard because it is on me too.
But if you don't want to be friends and push everything we have done for each other away because my feelings are elsewhere then that's fine.
We did say we wanted each other to be happy and help where we can.
Im here for you.
Always have been, always will be.
The ball is in your court now.
Sorry that your hurting.
I do feel really bad and now I feel even more PLEASE READ then I have lately.
Talk to you whenever.
I just would hate to see this friendship die”

I don’t know what to do. I’m so stuck. I haven’t replied, wouldn’t know what to say if I did

[Elsiefaye]

Does anyone feel like they are overreacting?.


To get a better understanding of what going on refer to the link

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=351237.0

I’ve been thinking of the best solution and I feel I should end it all. I can’t be best friends with her. But then I get these doubt thoughts    that I’m overreacting to this all, and I’m gonna abandon her. I promised that I would always be there for her. I asked for space, and touched briefly on why.

I received this message and I’m feeling guilt and a lot of others things. It doesn’t help I work closely with her at work. She kept putting words in my mouth. Using the excuse that “I couldn’t do that anymore because you were my best friend”  she felt like she as throwing it back in my face that she has been here with me through all the trauma and problems I faced in my life.
Then I received this one here is snipets

“Sorry for that over reaction.
I understand it would be hard because it is on me too.
But if you don't want to be friends and push everything we have done for each other away because my feelings are elsewhere then that's fine.
We did say we wanted each other to be happy and help where we can.
Im here for you.
Always have been, always will be.
The ball is in your court now.
Sorry that your hurting.
I do feel really bad and now I feel even more PLEASE READ then I have lately.
Talk to you whenever.
I just would hate to see this friendship die”

I don’t know what to do. I’m so stuck. I haven’t replied, wouldn’t know what to say if I did

[Turkish]

This feels familiar to our one and only recycle, where she broke up with me but still wanted to remain good friends. Maybe different from you, I just wanted to flee forever. Why would she want to remain friends? I thought. I felt free for a moment...

Saying "the ball's in your court" is true, no matter what she does. You said in your previous post that you weren't in love with her... so why does it hurt? She broke it off, yes?

[Elsiefaye]

This feels familiar to our one and only recycle, where she broke up with me but still wanted to remain good friends. Maybe different from you, I just wanted to flee forever. Why would she want to remain friends? I thought. I felt free for a moment...

Saying "the ball's in your court" is true, no matter what she does. You said in your previous post that you weren't in love with her... so why does it hurt? She broke it off, yes?

I think it hurts more to the idea that I cast aside in a way. I feel how quick she was to go into a new relationship after explaining to me as well  she didn’t want to be stuck. It has really made me feel like what we shared was nothing. She’s my best friend. The person who has been there through thick and thin. My only friend really. I feel just stuck in this constant rotation of thoughts

[Turkish]

Being cast aside quickly (sometimes shockingly) is what most of us here have experienced. Maybe this article can help to understand it: 

https://bpdfamily.com/content/surviving-break-when-your-partner-has-borderline-personality

A person with BPD feels that their feelings don't matter, and therefore they don't matter and are undeserving of being loved (juxtaposed with seeking out that love, undeserving).

To be cynical: always seeking, yet never finding."

Yet what do you want? If might be better to post on the Bettering Board if you want to try to be friends. Otherwise, this is a good place to talk it out.

[IntoTheWind]

Yes, but it’s the wrong feeling to have. I feel it and try to act to the contrary. If I indulge in this feeling I spiral.