Splitting behavior - what are you supposed to do

[Trying2understan]

This forum has been so helpful. I’ve been reading every night. Let me start by saying I’m 55 and dating a BPD is a new experience for me. Dating him for 2 of the 5 years since my divorce.  I’m grounded, financially secure and well educated. My ex boyfriend (I guess) has broken up with me 3x always saying I’m too good for him and getting upset with me that I travel for work/personal.  I used to think his anger came out of no where, but he must have been showing me signs of stress all along.  He breaks up with me after we had a wonderful day together and will text me “I’m done, I’m defeated” and not respond to any communication for weeks.  I’ll text him I care about him or just normal every day stuff or jokes.  I have no idea if he is reading my texts, sulking at his home or what he is doing.  Twice he came back after a few weeks acting like nothing was wrong.  I care a lot about him, I want to support him and not make things worse. Am I supposed to just leave him be, do I offer support in another way?  I am focused on self health at the moment.. a nice breather from the tumultuous environment.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

I like the idea of letting them know you're there for them and giving them time to process things.

It's good to hear you're focusing on self health, definitely something we need to remember when in relationships with pwBPD. 

[Trying2understan]

I am just struggling…

[hands down]

I am just struggling…

I feel you, it isn’t easy at all when your head and heart feel like they got put in a blender and the only result is your head still thinks but your heart is bloody.

Get friends that understand the struggle and can listen, if you can get therapy go speak with someone.

It’s not going to be easy, that’s about the only 100% thing on this board I can guarantee you