Delayed grief over BPD ex

[Jmn]

It has been about a year and a half since my ex and I broke up and then I sold and moved out of the house we lived in with her daughter.

Lately I've been having very intense dreams and bouts of remorse, regret, and grief over our relationship ending and the things we both did wrong. While the breakup was mutual at the end, and I still think it was best for both of us, I still love this person I don't and won't have contact with ever again.

So, I guess one question is: how best to cope and move on? Or should I move on? Not that I would ever try and re-establish the relationship, but I also feel like there is unfinished business that I can't engage on because of the mental illness component.

Reading about BPD somehow makes it simultaneously better and worse. I definitely need therapy on this and other fronts, but I also fear the discussions with a therapist because there are so many threads and the relationship was so verbally and emotionally painful for both of us.

[once removed]

tell us more.

these were intense relationships for all of us. that it would effect you down the road, i dont think is a surprise.

what happened?