Moving my self from reconciling to this board

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

My ex pwBpD is in active treatment and good at managing BpD. He ended our r/s during the 'honeymoon' phase cos he wanted a monogamous r/s with one of his other GFs. He said he needed the stability and soothing she could give. I have a primary SO and less available time for ex pwBpD.

Weirdly he said Im a better match for him than his GF [intellect, looks, chemistry, interests, sexually compatible etc].I thought what a weird thing to tell an ex and totally disrespectful of his GF.

He asked if we could still be friends. I agreed. We set clear boundaries. We have gone out as friends to concerts, cinema, dinner, coffee etc. He says his GF doesnt mind...which I also think weird as most mono GFs would mind her BF meeting up with their poly ex FWB. I can only take his word as I never met this GF [I had to ask him to stop sharing intimate details with me about their sex life...its weird to know so much explicit and personal stuff about some one I never met]. His GF is due to emigrate far far away in a few months. He says they will LDR. Then he says he will follow her. For a person without BpD this sounds like a r/s disaster waiting to happen!

Recently our friendship has become more 1-sided with me intiating meet ups. I have co-depend. issues which were triggerrd by our r/s. Im getting help with thse. I managed NC for only a few days recently. Then I caved and messaged him.

I have given up hope that he really wants my friendship, and that hurts. I cant see reconciliation being workable.Below is how our recent meetup went and why Im moved to this board:

"We met up for a hot chocolate and walk in the late afternoon yesterday. I suggested available days. He chose that one, and said what time. When I arrived he had takeout hot chocolate drinks for us. We had a brief friendly chit chat in his place. Then he said he had only 20mins because he had an online work meeting.l at X time. We went for a brief 15min walk around the block. It was nice to see him.

BUT the big reveal from us meeting is: the harsh reality. I am not a priority. Our friendship is not a priority in his eyes. I drove an hour each way to meet up with him. A 2 hour roundtrip for barely 25mins of his time. He did send me several messages later that night about random things.

Part of me feels it may be best for me to message him some thing along like:

'I have enjoyed the relationship we have had together. In order for me to continue to respect your boundaries and to give you the space you need for your new relationships to flourish, I will be gently detaching from you. I know after you ended things we explored friendship, and I will cherish those memories. I will continue to value and respect you from a distance. If you do have time for
two-way friendship with me in the future, you have my number.'

I do worry about triggering a bPd backlash. He said previously he doesnt do that, BUT he also told me all about his crazy and mean exes.

Or would it be simpler to let friendship die from neglect, as it is one way"

[Silverdash]

My ex pwBpD is in active treatment and good at managing BpD. He ended our r/s during the 'honeymoon' phase cos he wanted a monogamous r/s with one of his other GFs. He said he needed the stability and soothing she could give. I have a primary SO and less available time for ex pwBpD.

Weirdly he said Im a better match for him than his GF [intellect, looks, chemistry, interests, sexually compatible etc].I thought what a weird thing to tell an ex and totally disrespectful of his GF.

He asked if we could still be friends. I agreed. We set clear boundaries. We have gone out as friends to concerts, cinema, dinner, coffee etc. He says his GF doesnt mind...which I also think weird as most mono GFs would mind her BF meeting up with their poly ex FWB. I can only take his word as I never met this GF [I had to ask him to stop sharing intimate details with me about their sex life...its weird to know so much explicit and personal stuff about some one I never met]. His GF is due to emigrate far far away in a few months. He says they will LDR. Then he says he will follow her. For a person without BpD this sounds like a r/s disaster waiting to happen!

Recently our friendship has become more 1-sided with me intiating meet ups. I have co-depend. issues which were triggerrd by our r/s. Im getting help with thse. I managed NC for only a few days recently. Then I caved and messaged him.

I have given up hope that he really wants my friendship, and that hurts. I cant see reconciliation being workable.Below is how our recent meetup went and why Im moved to this board:

"We met up for a hot chocolate and walk in the late afternoon yesterday. I suggested available days. He chose that one, and said what time. When I arrived he had takeout hot chocolate drinks for us. We had a brief friendly chit chat in his place. Then he said he had only 20mins because he had an online work meeting.l at X time. We went for a brief 15min walk around the block. It was nice to see him.

BUT the big reveal from us meeting is: the harsh reality. I am not a priority. Our friendship is not a priority in his eyes. I drove an hour each way to meet up with him. A 2 hour roundtrip for barely 25mins of his time. He did send me several messages later that night about random things.

Part of me feels it may be best for me to message him some thing along like:

'I have enjoyed the relationship we have had together. In order for me to continue to respect your boundaries and to give you the space you need for your new relationships to flourish, I will be gently detaching from you. I know after you ended things we explored friendship, and I will cherish those memories. I will continue to value and respect you from a distance. If you do have time for
two-way friendship with me in the future, you have my number.'

I do worry about triggering a bPd backlash. He said previously he doesnt do that, BUT he also told me all about his crazy and mean exes.

Or would it be simpler to let friendship die from neglect, as it is one way"