What to say?

[WishingPeace]

Hello everyone,

I am a Mom that has a child 19 years old with BPD, Panic Disorder and PTSD.    I see them in pain and it is horrible.  I am the safe target and they constantly say...
I wish I was never born, I don't want to be here and they hate me for having them.   It is so hard to navigate the BPD..

They keep saying they want to die.. they don't believe in counseling.. they are super intelligent and it is so hard..  They are full of anger and pain..

Any thoughts?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pursuingJoy]

WishingPeace, hi  I'm a hurting mom of hurting children, too. I hear you.

What kind of support system do you have right now? Take care of yourself and take time out for you. You need support just as much as your child.

What specifically do they have against counselors? I hear DBT therapy works from some. Have you explored that as an option?

Depending on the counselor's expertise, training and insight, it can be a mixed bag anyway. My uBPD daughter was seeing a counselor, but with mixed results as far as I could tell. Extreme exaggerations were validated as truth. Eventually the counselor invited me to share, but at that point it seemed like it was too late. D feels justified. I used to be D's 'person,' now I'm all bad. As nasty as she has been to me, she's in very real pain. It's hard to watch. She's cut me off completely. I miss her and I worry about her.

Know we're here.