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Author Topic: Want bpd partner back  (Read 206 times)
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 1

« on: November 22, 2022, 08:14:47 PM »

My boyfriend is diagnosed with BDP.  He broke up with me and right away blocked me from all social media.  I never said anything that would make someone want to block me right away.  I feel hopeless after the break up.  I feel like I need him back. I don't know what to do. 
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.


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What is your sexual orientation: Other
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: single
Posts: 8

« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2022, 11:21:14 AM »

Hello, I first want to say there are many of us here that relate to your story; including me. My ex also has BPD except it’s undiagnosed. You did nothing wrong or anything to deserve this. There is nothing you could have done differently to give a different outcome. You could have been abusive and the result still would have been the same. From your post I’m not sure if he’s in therapy or treatment, but it is very common for those who love someone with BPD to be cycled in and out; idealized and devalued. It’s about his issues, not about you. Unfortunately it’s a type of illness where the closer you are to them, the bigger target you have. Other than themselves, we’re target #1.

Is this the first time this happened, or has this happened before. I too felt helpless when my ex did this again (together 3 1/2 years). What I would do for now, as difficult as it will be is to not reach out to him or contact him in any way. The goal should be to take care of yourself and build yourself back up. If you’re not in individual therapy I would start that, and being in support networks like these is also very helpful. You are not alone in this, and you will get through this. You are strong and worthy. And it does not mean you do not love him. I still love my ex very much. But I had to cut contact to protect myself, cause I was not going to be around someone who was not themselves. You are not responsible for him and his decisions; only yours. Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Keep researching and taking any necessary steps to heal yourself. Take care!
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