A big little lie

[Silverdash]

I found out by mistake from a mutual friend that He lied about his age. PwBpd guilt tripped me for missing his BIG birthday (I was sick). Turns out he is not the age he claimed. He is younger. He went on for months about his birthday coming up but refused to tell me the date as he hates birthdays. I enjoy giving gifts. Then tells me a few weeks after I had to cancel meeting for coffee that it was that day I cancelled on him and how he had wanted to spend the day with me (exes and only friends for months at the time).

I am beginning to think he has told me much bigger lies. I believe the "gf" is a real person BUT I dont think she has been his "gf" for some time or in his life in the way he claimed. I am NC. The pull to contact him again is very strong.

[BigEasyHeart]

I am beginning to think he has told me much bigger lies.

I'm sorry you are going through this Silverdash and can relate. During the breakup my ex's version of simple events that happened was so skewed from mine, it made me question my own reality. Then after the breakup, I found out about all the things she had been hiding from me relating to her mental health that I felt betrayed. Now I find myself wondering if there were other things she didn't tell me about. It's not a good road to go down but I can relate to having the same thoughts. Try to kind to yourself during this process.

It may not help much, but I found this article, which explains a bit about why this occurs:
Borderline Personality Disorder and Lying: https://www.verywellmind.com/link-between-borderline-personality-and-lying-q-a-425190

[SaltyDawg]

BEH, thank you for the link.

Silverdash, I have seen the same.  Her version of her truth is a bit distorted at time, especially when she is splitting.  Not quite at the breakup point, and actually it has been reversing for the past few weeks, so I don't know of all the things yet.  But I am keeping my eyes wide open.

I am hoping for the best; however, I am preparing for the worst.