Alienated Daughter Angry (NPD Father)

[popaahrs]

Hello, I’m new here. I am in a very difficult situation, my daughter lives with her father, he has engaged in parent alienation for years. When she is around me she is explosive. At this point she hardly sees me at all. I believe her father and my mother both have narcissistic tendencies and have worked against me for years. I want to get a guardian ad lidum from the court to help but I’m not sure I can afford legal fees. Appreciate and and all support!

[kells76]

Hello Sarahpop, welcome to the group. It's so difficult coping with one person with PD traits; it's exponentially more challenging when you seem to be surrounded.

How old is your daughter? Is there still any kind of legal custody order or parenting time order in effect?

I can relate to cross-family dysfunctional alliances. My H's kids' mom has allied with my H's sister in the past (both have many BPD traits). It feels intrusive and inappropriate at best. Are you still in contact with your mother?

In terms of finding a GAL and/or a legal way to proceed, many lawyers will give free or lower cost initial consultations (typically 30-60 minutes), where you can present the basic issues and can receive feedback on what would likely happen and how this L would likely proceed. You can do this with multiple lawyers to find a best fit. It is not the same as retaining one, so you are not "on the hook" at that point. Could be a worthwhile way to learn more information about if a GAL is a good fit for your situation, and if so, who is best in your area.

So glad you reached out for support -- keep us posted on how things are going.

-kells76

[Rev]

Hi Sarahpop,

And yes, let me join Kells in saying welcome.

My daughter is bi-polar and only recently did we become estranged as her mother become more involved in her life. (She's a fully launched adult).  I read that you are feeling pushed aside after having done some pretty heavy parental lifting. Is that right?  Or maybe its something different?  And it sounds like there are some challenging discussions coming - both financially challenging and challenging family-wise.

So again, welcome. Lot's of support and wisdom here.   Zero judgement.

Hang in there. Reach out any time.

Rev

[ForeverDad]

It's hard to predict how everything will work out, however there is no other choice but to look to the future.  As the saying goes, the tunnel may seem dark but there's light at the end of the tunnel.

One pattern to make clear in family court and with its associated professionals, of course as appropriate, is that your problem people are quick to create conflict, obstruct and sabotage... but your task is to demonstrate that you're different, you're a caring parent and the one with solutions.

Of course it would take time for the professionals to be convinced of the full picture, so don't get discouraged by the time the process takes.

[Rev]

It's hard to predict how everything will work out, however there is no other choice but to look to the future.  As the saying goes, the tunnel may seem dark but there's light at the end of the tunnel.

One pattern to make clear in family court and with its associated professionals, of course as appropriate, is that your problem people are quick to create conflict, obstruct and sabotage... but your task is to demonstrate that you're different, you're a caring parent and the one with solutions.

Of course it would take time for the professionals to be convinced of the full picture, so don't get discouraged by the time the process takes.

This is really well put.