Just alone needing some support ...

[estragon]

Getting old, in a long-term relationship with a "Cluster B."
I need to find a way to not fall into hopeless despair.  I don't see a way out or up off of the ground or anything.
ugh.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hello estragon, glad you found us and decided to reach out for some support.

Sounds like you've been in your relationship quite some time. How long have you two been together?

I'm also wondering if the feeling of hopelessness has been building for a while, or if something specific happened recently to catalyze it.

There can be ways to make things "less worse" in relationships with a pwBPD (person with BPD), though often it may be non-intuitive or uncomfortable at first. Sometimes having a therapist or counselor can be really helpful in making those changes, and sticking with those changes through the discomfort. Is that something you're doing, or are interested in?

Keep us posted. You're very not alone.

kells76

[Old Dog]

I've found it hard getting older.  My BPD-other alienates me, yet because we're older I rely on them more.  I've also found it harder to keep and make friends, especially when my peers are all couples.  Don't let yourself get isolated.  Pursue your friends and interests.  I also beat myself up because I ought to be such and such a way at my age.  I had someone reply to one of my posts that I don't have to let my other define me, nor do I have to let my feelings define me.  Don't let yours define you.  You have worth, if nothing else strangers are replying with concern to your post.

[yellowbutterfly]

Hi estragon

I just want to say you are NOT ALONE! You've found an incredible board full of people willing to listen and many have similar situations or have been through it all.

Whenever I feel alone, I make sure to reach out here and it really helps.

Welcome 

[Fish1974]

Welcome to the family Estrogan!

Glad that you found this group. I'm literally a couple weeks post breakup from my pwBPD (this is #2 in as many months). My world is still spinning. This group, and the advice that I've received has helped me a ton. I can only talk about my experience, but it has been so uplifting and refreshing to know that I'm NOT alone, and YOU aren't alone either. I would totally recommend reading the other's experiences, and you'll really see that you're not alone in this journey.

I will say that it's heartbreaking to read so many good people in here getting hurt in the BPD wake. I am also including those that suffer from this debilitating disorder. As you are already aware... you're going to be experiencing so many emotions. Last night I asked my therapist if I was crazy.. just cause that's how I feel. Best thing you can do is take care of yourself, and just vent here.. everyone has been so great for me in this process. Why, because they've been there, they know how "we" are feeling.

Feel free to reach out to me directly, we can chat on the phone if you'd like.. but lean on the support system here!