Hi everyone!
I've been studying my relationship recently, and I've came to realize that there have been always some devaluation phases that led to a break up. And it seems like my partner isn't aware of that. Although he was the first one years ago to bring the topic of BPD up and he got diagnosed with it once, we haven't talked about it recently.
I don't know yet how should I start to talk, especially because he's not in the mood for that kind of talk now. He also has some appointments with a psychiatrist and therapist, two months later and I was thinking maybe it's better to wait until then or some time near to talk about it.
I was thinking if meanwhile, there is something I can do to help him leave this devaluation phase before it leads to a break up?
It’s really impossible to give you good suggestions because we don’t know the severity of his bpd or his triggers. However, Everything I’ve read on the subject of devaluation says if they have it in their mind to devalue you then that’s what they’ll do regardless of what you do. Although I’m sure it differs based on various factors of the person with the disorder. I really don’t know..?
In my persons experience, once devaluing began it never stopped no matter how much I did to try and fix things with her. She’d seem to appreciate the good and kind things I did to help her, but I never gained any ground. She continued to devalue me further until she reached discard, then left me for her ex. Maybe someone else on this site has a strategy for turning things around, but I haven’t seen anything concrete.
