PSA: Caretaking a pwBPD depletes testosterone

[Couscous]

I thought this article was fascinating. : https://www.marsvenus.com/blog/losing-yourself-in-a-relationship

1. Men can get addicted to the testosterone cocktail they get from pleasing their partner and get addicted to the person they want to be for their partner— always available, always the hero, always the one with the fix — rather than being true to themselves. This isn’t sustainable.

2. Men only experience that testosterone high when they’re successful AND when they have enough testosterone to release in the first place. Men need to take time apart from the relationship and relationship hormones (like estrogen, which inhibits testosterone production) in order to rebuild testosterone.

3. A man needs to flex his independence in order to get the chemical pay off from pleasing his partner. When he doesn’t do this and he loses himself in the interdependent dynamic that can feel so good, he gets further and further out of balance, and onto his feminine side — in an unbalanced way.

The good news is that 30 minutes of "me-time" each day rebuilds testosterone levels.  

Instructions on how to take your "me-time" without triggering your partner can be found here: https://www.marsvenus.com/blog/when-a-man-needs-space

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chief Drizzt]

Ironically I just had a bunch of blood work done and my testosterone levels all came back really low…. Now I know why…. Oh well….

[Couscous]

Ironically I just had a bunch of blood work done and my testosterone levels all came back really low…. Now I know why…. Oh well….

Fortunately you can do something about it. You deserve it.

[Outdorenthusiast]

Whoa!  Good to know there is a correlation.  I felt it somehow and have taken steps about 18 months ago to reverse/build back.  I am not a huge med taker, but not against them either.  This has helped me:

1) Personal time with friends
2) Exercise building back muscle mass
3) Ashwagandha root (natural - you can get it in your grocery store)
4) Saw Palmetto (natural - you can get in your grocery store)
5) Men’s multivitamin

I had written it off to just age (which it still may be) but it also makes sense that it is exacerbated.