I think I can't do it alone anymore, I need any help I can get

[Bella2798]

I think the situation is out of my hands and abilities now.Here's a brief story of what has happened, and I need some help to get myself together and help my partner as much as I can. Please just note that I'm not able to reach professional help for myself now due to some reasons, and this forum and some other resources are all I have.

My partner has always dealt with mental health problems. A year ago, he immigrated to continue his studies, and he had stressful financial problems at first. This was the time he faced chronic skin problems and hair loss.He was diagnosed with high IOP and glaucoma 3 days ago. He was a bit suicidal before, and as losing his vision was his biggest fear, he planned to commit suicide. I couldn't calm him down, so I informed his flatmates, and his plans got canceled (we live in two different countries). He broke things in the house, and it seems other stuff has happened that I don't yet know. He blames me now, and although we still talk, our relationship is not going well.

The main problem is that he is convinced that no therapy or medication can help him, and even if they do, his life is ruined because nothing can get his skin, hair, and eyes back. I can see he is in such deep pain that he sees the only way out of it by dying. He doesn't seem to be willing to get help, and even the smallest daily tasks are too much for him.I found some options to help him if he wants, but the problem is that he is still planning to commit suicide once he pays his debt.His flatmates don't seem to care enough to help, and I'm all alone in this.

I need help because I don't know how to treat him to reduce the risk and make him get help. He was willing to before this diagnosis, and he already has an appointment with a psychiatrist in April, but I can't wait until then.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Outdorenthusiast]

Thank you for sharing!  I can hear that this is distressing to you.    There are typically many free government agencies that help with suicide and suicide prevention - I am not sure which country he is in - but this could be a starting point.  Clearly he is distressed, and depressed and needs help.  Reaching out to local law enforcement, or flatmates/workmates is a good start, getting their ideas will help.  Maybe others on this board have more ideas.

As to BPD or not - take some time to educate yourself on the condition.  https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder

More importantly what are you doing for your own self care?  This is obviously distressing you.  Do you have a good friend/family support group?

[Bella2798]

Thank you for sharing!  I can hear that this is distressing to you.    There are typically many free government agencies that help with suicide and suicide prevention - I am not sure which country he is in - but this could be a starting point.  Clearly he is distressed, and depressed and needs help.  Reaching out to local law enforcement, or flatmates/workmates is a good start, getting their ideas will help.  Maybe others on this board have more ideas.

As to BPD or not - take some time to educate yourself on the condition.  https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder

More importantly what are you doing for your own self care?  This is obviously distressing you.  Do you have a good friend/family support group?

As I live in another country, my access to public facilities which help with mental health is not much, but if I can convince him I have found some possibilities to get help asap without being on a waiting list for months. The problem is we can't agree on it. I believe there is opportunity for him to be healed but he sees no point in living and putting effort through it.

[Outdorenthusiast]

I know you are in a different country, but in his host country (most western countries + Japan) have some sort of domestic support system.  Making a remote call from your country to his to get a “wellness check/intervention” on him is what was the thought.

I still go back to the uncomfortable original question - what about you and your support structure?

[Bella2798]

I know you are in a different country, but in his host country (most western countries + Japan) have some sort of domestic support system.  Making a remote call from your country to his to get a “wellness check/intervention” on him is what was the thought.

I still go back to the uncomfortable original question - what about you and your support structure?

Um I'm not sure if I can call 112 or stuff like that internationally or something, am I able to do that? Like I tried to call another similar place once and my call didn't connect. Maybe their problem, I'll keep that in mind.
(Although I have the fear of his anger since last event, because doing so means his flatmates will also find out but better safe than sorry.)

And about myself, I have one or two supportive friends, in their own ways of course but I'm thankful.
My family is not supportive, one of the reasons I can't reach therapy at the moment.