I hope this post is understandable because I don't know how to really describe what even just happened. It might be all over the place.
So I've been giving my pwBPD space after our fight and he continued to ignore me. About an hour ago he came into the bedroom and said, "Do you want to fight?" and I said I didn't. Then he told me that on Monday we are going to the realtor's office. He doesn't know "what I DID, but the realtor is now telling him that I need to sign the paperwork to sell too." He's accusing me of talking to the realtor, but I haven't yet. It's just the law that he can't sell without my consent.
I told him I have appointments on Monday because I didn't know he was doing that. He accused me of not helping and started to get angry. I assured him that I want to listen and can we please talk, I want to understand and help. He also told me that we could take it home to sign, but then he got angry and said I should sign it there because it's easier and who cares what's on it. I don't need to look.
I calmed him down a bit and said I'd try to make it to the appointment, but not sure if I could. I also apologized for losing it the other night. He got very angry when I apologized and started closing his eyes, clenching his fists and stomping his feet. Then he started yelling "why haven't you left!" I've forced him to be in a relationship and live with him for years and years. I tried to calm him down and I said we could talk about it.
He kept saying yes we need to talk and then raging at me saying the same things over and over. To make a very long story short he wants me gone and yesterday. He keeps telling me nothing else matters I just have to leave. I asked him if we could please make a plan then so I can do that. I don't want to leave, but I will if he wants me to, but I need to find a safe place to go. And he kept telling me I should have left years ago then we'd be fine.
He finally told me again he'd give me money for an apartment for a year. Then he said I don't have to live in a decent place, just whatever and I can't be picky. He got mad when I asked any logical questions about how I'd move out.
The whole time he wouldn't look at me and was pulling at his clothes, clenching his hands, closing his eyes, hiding behind doors, wandering away while still talking, and stomping his feet. There was so much that happened I could never write it all. But he kept contradicting himself, getting aggressive and saying that I should have left years ago and now he won't help me. He was also saying some other very bizarre things that don't make any sense whatsoever.
I asked if we could maybe talk with a counselor since it seems like we are having a difficult time communicating about this. He screamed that he doesn't have time and I'll lie.
Then he started talking about how he's been so depressed and how I've done this to him because I've made him live with me and he's trapped. He started getting extremely aggressive and spitting while talking. He started ripping at his clothes and telling me about how he's been thinking about killing himself because he can't take how I make him feel for all these years. He told me I wait for him to "change" back and manipulate him and it's terrible. He told me he never liked me and why can't I understand that. He told me I'm a liar and lied to him about leaving in the past and everything else.
I just listened to him and told him I want to help and that I'm there for him. I said I understand that he never liked me. He got very mad when I said I care about him. He also said it was not true he never liked me and screamed that if that's how I feel then he can't talk to me anymore. It got to the point where I tried to talk to him about seeing someone for help. He agreed that he should. But then got angry at me again and started raging about how it's just because I'm still here.
This all went on for about an hour and he kept claiming he wanted to talk then would go into rages. He would hide behind doors or cover his face with his clothes except when he got aggressive.
I kept saying we can work this out, but we just need to work together and I'm willing to do that. I tried offering several suggestions, but he just kept raging about the same things over and over. It was very scary and I just tried to stay as calm as possible. We never came to any conclusion except he told me to find an apartment and move out as soon as possible and we're selling our condo. If I don't cooperate he's taking legal action and I will be kicked out anyway. And he wants to kill himself because of me. He said if I move out then things could change between us.
I don't know what to do because I don't feel he's in the right state of mind to sign papers to sell our condo. If he really wants me to leave that's one thing, but we need to make a plan then. He's not thinking clearly. I can't talk to him at all and I can't trust what he's saying right now. Everything just goes around in circles. I'm very worried and feel like he's blackmailing me into going along with all of this. He acts "normal" to everyone else for the most part so I don't know how to handle this. He's playing games now with a friend.
He's been this bad in the past and has threatened suicide, but this time I feel like he's really determined to "get away from me". I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my mind with his gaslighting. I'm so worried and sad. I feel like if I don't listen to him he's going to do something drastic.
Should I go to the meeting and not sign the paper? If I tell the realtor what's going on I'm afraid of what my pwBPD's reaction is going to be. He's already accusing me of doing something to sabotage him.
edit: Now he wants to watch Netflix with me later...
but I still think he still wants me to leave
