I feel embarrassed, and it's difficult to trust myself and others

[NarcsEverywhere]

I feel embarrassed that I've spammed the boards, and been so neurotic and when people are kind to me on here, it's hard to believe them, and because of all of out of character behavior that I've had in the last, lets say 6 months, both from the shock of it all, and all the hard work I've had to do to feel safe in my own house and yard, from standing up to my Dad and neighbor, and all the anxiety.

I've accidently hurt my pets more than normal from the anxiety, my dog is old, and I kept moving him to get out of the house. because of all the anger, and it hurt him, I felt like I had no choice, when trying to avoid my Dad and Neighbor initially. I know I deserve a lot of slack now, and I know I deserve to not beat myself up about it all, because I was in such poor circumstances.

Anyways, I feel kind of sorry for it all, even though I think it's all quite understandable. And I just wanted to say thanks for all the tolerance and patience.. It would have been devastating to me for the mods to have banned me or something, it was a huge fear of mine, but my resources were so low and the overwhelm so high, that I felt like I had no choice but to keep typing to someone, hoping for any help.

Gotta go through my own thing a bit, before I feel like I can connect more, I think. Extra thanks to anyone who responded, especially having read any of my stuff in detail, those little messages I'd get on my posts once in a while, gave me just the tiny bit of connection I needed to not feel completely isolated. That and my counselor who is burnt out on me, yet still pretty patient.

[Older sister]

This is a safe place, and your posts aren’t excessive. If it’s helpful for you, it’s not hurting anyone here.