Trying to calm down

[thankful person]

I have locked myself in the toilet following my wife’s tantrum over making Easter cornflake cakes. She got angry at a couple of suggestions I made and threw the saucepan on the floor and the bowl of cornflakes got my daughter on its’ way to the floor. Cornflakes everywhere. I am so angry that she has these tantrums and trying to calm myself. I can hear the children out there having fun with my wife now. I don’t want to go out. At times like this I hate her so much.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chief Drizzt]

Sorry you are in this situation - I always dread holidays and am praying today doesn’t end in disaster.  I can’t remember when I had a good Christmas or Easter celebration.  Holidays make living with someone with PBD extremely difficult.  Hang in there!

[Husband2014]

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. Hang in there. I would leave the house for a drive vs just lock yourself. Maybe go see a movie or a nice walk? You owe it to yourself.

[thankful person]

Thank you chief Drizzt and husband2014. I was so angry with myself for forgetting to NEVER make any suggestions especially on a day that is supposed to be a happy occasion! I guess I got a bit complacent there and forgot to walk on eggshells for a moment. My wife did get over it relatively quickly (I cleaned up of course). We then had a discussion where she shouted lots about how I’d ruined the day. She expressed that I should never interfere with what she’s doing and I expressed that I would like it if we didn’t raise our voices in front of the children. Of course she comes back with the fact that I do sometimes shout at the children. I said that I always appreciate her feedback where she thinks I could be a better parent as I’m 100% committed to that. So I said my intention is that I won’t shout at them. And it really is. They don’t need any more instability in their lives. Husband2014, I would like to leave the house but I don’t usually because of the kids. When I was first in this relationship I used to go out alone, but then would be crying, texting, calling her. If I could go back to those times I’d go have a nice cake and coffee alone and get my nails done. And that is what I’ll do when the kids are older. Or maybe they’ll choose to come with me…