Need of closure

[Bobby912]

Hello.  I was in a 10 year relationship with someone I thought I would fix and spend the rest of my life with.  Within the first weeks of us getting together she accused me of being on dating sites.  I had to actually contact the company in front of her to confirm that I wasnt on any sites. I didn't think anything of it because she told me how she was hurt in the past.  I really hate being accused of something I might add.   Her temper with her children bothered .me but I had a temper as well because my parents were toxic.  We have a 8 year old that we have to co-parent together.  Throughout our relationship I eventually broke down and started to get help for my mental conditions which is Ptsd, anxiety, depression.  I am currently still in treatment.  Throughout the years of us being together she always accused me of looking at other women's rear ends.  She told me when the relationship was ending that this was the reason she never wanted to go anywhere.  I never did these things and I finally told her that.  It felt so good to stand my ground.  She blames this whole thing on me.  She has smeared my name to whoever she can get to listen.  I was at a point that I was agreeing with her so I could just win her back but that all backfired because she used that as ammo.  She knows she has this condition but refuses to get help.  Her oldest son told me that he is now in therapy for depression and anxiety due to how she raised him.  After I told him about everything she was doing he said how he could relate because he is the same way.  He is 22.  I raised him since the age of 13.  He told.me that out of all the men he saw come in and out of her life I was the best and he will always consider me his father.  He told me to move on with my life which says a lot.  I told him that I will always be there for her if she needs anything being that my 8 year old is there.  Her other son is in prison for another 5 years. Bi tried everything to raise him right but it wasn't enough.  Now I know that he might be suffering with medical conditions that he is unaware of.  They do have 2 different fathers.  My daughter is so special.  She tells me everything.  I don't understand how her mom can't even sit down and play barbies not even once in her life but finds the time to talk to other guys on the phone right in front of her.  I don't talk bad to my daughter about her mother's actions but she sees everything.  At this point I am hurt because I work at nights so I really don't spend time with my daughter til the weekend.  This is when she can be herself and let go of all the baggage she has from being with her mother all week.  The yelling at her and not being patient is the worse.  Today i had to take baby girl to the E.R. because she has been getting infections frequently.  I tried to take her yesterday but her mom said that it wasnt so bad and just give her Tylenol as if the baby was making it up.  I take my daughter to school every morning and when i picked her up and got ready to place her in the car she started complaining about her ear again.  We went back to the door and i told her mom that she was complaining about her ear and ahe snapped and said what do you want me to do!  I started to tell her well if you would have let me take her to the doctor yesterday maybe she wouldnt be hurting now.  I stayed quiet.  ant to tell her mom about her action.  I have been in therapy for about 9 years now and I am in a much better place with myself.  It took a lot of work for me to get here and now I realize that my ex could have contributed to my medical conditions.  I want to tell her so bad about her oldest son and how this isn't all my fault.  I will never share what me and my daughter talk about out of fear of retaliation.  Would I be wrong to tell her that she needs to get professional help.  She has no empathy.