That's sad. Seems likely, yes?
What other than this led to tough to believe that she had BPD?
Thanks for the reply.
The standard BPD diagnosis from the DSM5 are big key indications but she was also a quiet BPD so the raging part was more internalised. Not to say there wasn’t raging though.
indicators:
- absolute fear of abandonment. This was obvious for the first few months of our relationship. I always had to reassure her I wasn’t going to leave her. She also spoke to my sister frequently about whether I would leave her, cheat on her, that I was too good for her.
- mirroring. She took on my personality very quickly at the start once she got to know me. She copied everything, from my life goals, my sense of humour to my mannerisms.
- she Had to emotionally support her mother emotionally and raise her younger siblings from a very young age. Parentified.
- Things moved very quickly. I was idealised and her knight in shining armour. She played the victim and always spoke about abusive past relationships. I too became labeled as one of those abusers. I forgot to cook her dinner and smeared amongst all her friends as an abuser.
- hypersexual, feelings of emptiness, very low self esteem, wanting to die, witness to a suicide, raped at boarding school, bad relationship with father, her 2 daughters (13 and 11) left her for the abusive ex partner in another state.
- Constant trauma and hypervigilant.
I’m rattling on a bit but BPD seems to make sense. I haven’t included everything I experienced (you will see more in my previous posts) but my psychologist thinks BPD and NPD.