Better this time

[Cuevera]

Good morning. I am writing this post to say I’m glad to have found this page. I now find myself in a rerun of former difficult relationships and hope to do it better this time. My mother was unstable and my father’s way of coping was to tell my sisters and me it was all our fault.
The father of my children became distressed during an economic crisis in which jobs were scarce and he couldn’t find one. This lasted for the rest of his life. I have left the relationship but our son stayed on to take over the role of carer.
My daughter has had problems since she was 20, but Covid left her isolated altho relatively functional. Recently an accident in the sewage system of her house has set off intense OCD behaviour.
She is now with me but it is extremely difficult for me to enter her world, which triggers her anger.
The other two relationships ended in me distancing.
This time I want to be there for my daughter and help her/ us get thru this

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi CueVera and welcome to the family here. You have certainly had your fair share of complex relationships to deal with over your life! You sound calm though now, and looking towards making things work for you and your dd.

Has your dd been formally diagnosed with BPD? I am assuming so, and the anger you talk about is something I recognise clearly. It is so difficult to deal with because it is so irrational.

OCD is also difficult. I can understand how the symptoms of OCD would increase dramatically for someone with that tendency after such an event!

I think you will learn a lot coming to this site, and you will certainly feel supported by those who come here. You are not alone on this journey.