Does anyone have success stories of making the relationship work if the BPD partner does not get treatment? Or, as my therapist suggests, is it time for me to move on?
Staying or moving on is a very personal decision. Does it get better without therapy? Un-professional opinion…Probably not. Can you manage without them getting therapy? Depends. My personal opinion - There should not be abuse and so you need extremely strong boundaries (and be able to maintain them), the ability to emotionally detach and be indifferent, a very strong emotional support system (friends/family) for you that is away from them, and an ability to see more good in them than bad.
Getting them into therapy will be FAR better. If you can’t or don’t think you have the strength, it would be better to leave as resentment will grow, and he will feel it too and things will just get worse.
My wife is in therapy and trying hard, but she will never be “cured” just like an alcoholic isn’t “cured.” Behaviors can go into remission. Opinions are prolific, and mine is one of many that exist here. A friend and my sister both told me to sit in the uncomfortable. Listen to yourself. Don’t make snap decisions but also don’t ignore the little voice inside you telling you what to do.
